The John Tesh Blog

A Christmas gift to yourself this year could be the best yet.

 Wait a minute- this is the season of giving to others, right? Just talked about the health benefits of charitable giving yesterday, too, and they're enormous! But without taking anything away from the altruistic side of your life- guess what? You might be the most charitable entity of all- in your own life.

Are you struggling to gain the health benefits of losing weight? Maybe you've tried- unsuccessfully, sadly, to quit smoking, or drinking too much. Or it might just be that tried and true- and still wildly wicked- STRESS and ANXIETY that's getting the better of you. Giving time and resources to worthwhile organizations- this whole idea of serving others- has been proven by spiritual leaders, psychologists, and, as we learned yesterday, even scientists. But running yourself ragged to meet one more volunteer is not healthy, and could have an impact you aren't able to recognize. Dr. Philip Heit is Professor Emeritus of Physical Activity and Educational Services at The Ohio State University, and advises that with the holidays coming up, it's time to commit to the importance of valuing our own health so we can better help others. Put these ideas on your own gift list this year:

1. Food for thought.

It's well documented that good, daily nutrition is necessary for a strong immune system, less illness, and overall good health. Here's your first gift to yourself, and it's free: log on to www.mypyramid.gov to receive nutritional advice that will help to improve the quality and longevity of your health. You can get information online to help plan meals, achieve your goals, as well as receive feedback on the food you already eat.

2. Avoid heartache.

It's more than OK to have a good heart, and a desire to give to others; just don't ignore your own heart health. Commit to yourself on New Year's Eve to sign up (and complete!) a 5K, or even a 10K walking or running event (maybe one for your favorite charity!), or look for a community club nearby where you can get some coaching as well as companionship with others whose goals are similar to yours.

3. One a day may keep the doctor away.

It's a fairly safe bet that for many people, getting the recommended amount of vitamins and minerals by following a healthy diet doesn't happen without some help. Just think about the people in your life. How many people eat lean and healthy meals and snacks day in, and day out? Additionally, as we age, our body has a harder time absorbing key nutrients from food such as vitamin B-12, which reduces the risk of anemia, and vitamin D, which aids in the absorption of calcium. For these reasons, taking a daily multivitamin may be a wise move. According to Dr. Michael Roizen of the Cleveland Clinic Wellness Institute (and a favorite author and source for the Radio Show), taking a daily multivitamin is like having an insurance policy against an imperfect diet. And an added bonus? Inexpensive multivitamins can provide the same value for your body as a more expensive one (leaving you with a little more cash for your monthly food pantry donation!)

4. Treat yourself.

Ah...now to the gifting to yourself part. And you just did- if you can follow the three steps above. Or maybe there's a more tangible reward you'd like to give yourself to help you reach your goals, like joining a health club, or subscribing to your favorite health magazine. Remember that phrase, "Charity begins at home"? How about a fresher, new meaning; caring for your own health first enables you to be able to give more to others later- a gift the world around you will appreciate.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Give a little? Get a lot.

Can you remember how hard it was to hear your parents say, as you were growing up, "Well, it's better to give, than to receive..." WHAT? How can that be better? Well, science- how about that- has proven what's really in it for you! Stephen Post, PhD, and Jill Neimark are the authors of Why Good Things Happen to Good People, and give us the guide to what you get for your giving, you holiday elf:

It's The Thought That Counts

Just thinking about generosity boosts your immunity. When Harvard students watched a film about Mother Teresa tending to orphans, the number of protective antibodies in their saliva surged; when the students were asked to focus on times when they'd been loved by or loving to others, their antibody levels stayed elevated for an hour. In another study, the brain's pleasure centers lit up when people made check marks next to a list of organizations to which they wanted to donate.

Lend an Ear, Help Your Heart

Being generous with your attention can reduce your risk of heart attack. Cardiac arrest is highly correlated with the amount of self-reference ("I," "me," "my") in a person's speech. The best advice? Listen to and connect with others- OH. How about what we talked about yesterday- LISTENING to those around you to avoid bickering. Social ties lower your risk of dying from heart disease.

Lend a Hand, Lower Your Pain

People suffering from chronic pain report decreased intensity, and less disability and depression, when they reach out to others in similar pain. In one study, pain was reduced by 13 percent. Scientists believe the release of endorphins explains the phenomenon.

Goodness Nose

In a study conducted at Carnegie Mellon University, people who were socially connected reported catching fewer colds. Volunteering is, of course, one of the simplest ways to connect.

Love Heals Some Wounds

In a 2005 Ohio State University study, married couples were given tiny blisters on two occasions. During the first visit, they talked to each other supportively; during the second, they hashed out relationship conflicts. The blisters took a day longer to heal after the second visit, and two days longer in couples with high levels of anger.

The Magic Touch

There's an off switch for the adrenal gland's production of the stress hormone cortisol: massage. A study that recruited retirees to give massages showed that their cortisol—as well as their anxiety and depression—levels dropped significantly.

Do you see an opportunity here, in these last days of the 2009 holiday season to spread some warmth, pay it forward, show your love? Then take it, in good health, my friend!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Avoid becoming the Bickers family this holiday season.

Remember them? It seems like your whole family became the Bickers last year. Everyone was so excited to be getting together! But then it didn't take long for everything to go downhill fast- and everyone, instead, was so excited to be away from each other. It's happened to all of us at one time or another- we get excited for the holidays- OH! the whole family will be coming! Well, yes- including an opinionated brother-in-law, an over-the-top aunt who puts the "L" in loud, maybe an interfering cousin who has lots of criticism for the teenagers in the house- and your parenting of them...pretty soon it's your own short-temper leading to soon-regretted outbursts that can put a huge damper on everyone's holiday spirit.

David Burns is a cognitive behavior therapist and author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and When Panic Attacks, as well as adjunct clinical professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine. He writes for Oprah about finding the ways to defuse stressful family situations by communicating more effectively. "Most people do surprisingly poorly when dealing with a relative who is hurting, depressed, or anxious—we get defensive and try to solve the problem rather than finding the truth in what the person is saying," says Burns. "I like to use what I call the five secrets of effective communication, which are made up of three listening skills and two self-expression skills."

First, practice listening (Burns calls it the disarming technique): "Find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems unreasonable or unfair. Then empathize by putting yourself in his or her shoes and see the world from her perspective." Part of being empathetic is to act as a mirror, paraphrasing her words and acknowledging how she's probably feeling.

"Third, ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling. Those are the three listening skills."

Now you're ready to begin communicating back. The fourth step is to use "I feel" statements, such as "I feel upset," rather than "You" statements, such as "You're wrong!" Stroking statements come last. "Stroking means treating the other person with respect even if you're angry and they're angry. Always do it in a way that the other person won't feel put down or lose face."

That can mean, for everyone in your family this year, warm and genuine hugs when the holidays are over and it's time for everyone to head back home, as well as warm and genuine excitement to see them all next year, too!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.