The John Tesh Blog

Become a Living Lie Detector

Did you know you’re twice as likely to tell lies in phone conversations than in emails?

A Cornell University study asked students to keep a communications diary for a week. The students were to take note of their conversations and email exchanges . . . and then confess how many lies they told.

The study revealed lies made up 14% of emails, 21% of instant messages, 27% of face-to-face interactions and a whopping 37% of phone calls.

According to NewScientist, people are fearful of lying in an email when they know the communication could later be used to hold them to account.

My apologies to singles . . . but another place lying shows up is in online dating profiles. Online Dating Magazine finds many people tell "little white lies" on their profiles.

•About 52.6% of the men in the study fabricated the truth about their height, as did 39% of the women.

•Slightly more women lied about their weight (64.1%) than did men (60.5%).

•When it came to age, 24.3% of the men were untruthful, compared with 13.1% of the women.

How can you tell when someone is lying to you?

Using methods employed by police and security experts, here are several ways you can detect lies:

•Watch body language. A person lying to you avoids making eye contact. You may notice the individual touching their face, throat and mouth or scratching their nose. They’re not likely to touch their heart with an open hand since a person who lies does not speak from their heart but connives in their head.

•Beware of a contradiction between emotions and words.
You can hand someone a gift and they say, “I love it!” and after a few seconds they force a smile. Normally, the smile should occur at the same time the gift is given. When someone smiles naturally, many facial muscles are involved, but a forced or “polite“ smile only involves muscles around the mouth.

•Look for defensiveness on the part of the guilty person.
She may display discomfort when having to face her accuser and turn her head or body away. Someone who’s not telling the truth may place objects (a book or a coffee cup) between themselves and you as a wall of protection.

•Listen carefully to what is being said or not being said. A person covering up will avoid “lying” by not making direct statements. They will imply answers instead of denying something directly. I’ve noticed when a person is asked to tell the truth, they’ll repeat your question to stall for more time to concoct an answer.

•The guilty are quick to change the subject of conversation.
If you think someone is lying to you, change the subject of the conversation. A liar will willingly follow along and will immediately become more relaxed. An innocent person is confused by the sudden change of subjects and will want to return to the previous topic of conversation.

Just because a person exhibits one or more of these traits does not make them a liar. Though we cannot rationalize lying, we sometimes fudge on the truth out of fear of the consequences. Regardless, we also know we can count on God to offer us pardon.

John
Email: johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Get More Use Out of Your Cell Phone

Is your cell phone doing more for you than just dialing and receiving calls and text messages?

I’ve got some great tips on how to put your mobile phone to work for you. Keep your cell phone handy because you’re going to want to put several phone numbers on your speed dial.

•First, before you do anything, place your family on ICE (In Case of Emergency).

Normally, your cell phone can be an indispensable lifeline during a crisis. With one touch of a button you make a single call and you’re instantly reunited with loved ones.

However, in the case of a serious accident or an urgent medical situation, emergency team members cannot waste time sifting through your phone’s address book to locate your next of kin.

To remedy this problem, cell phone users are being urged to insert the acronym ICE before the names of the people they want to be called in case of an emergency . . . as in “ICE-Husband” or “ICE-Mom.” Then police and emergency personnel can use your phone to quickly notify your next of kin if disaster strikes.

•Another important number to keep in your cell phone is 800-GOOG-411. That’s 466-4411. With this number Google offers you a free directory service.

Here’s how it works. Call 800-GOOG-411, state the location and business type you’re seeking and then connect to the business . . . for free.

Normally, cell phone companies charge anywhere from $1.50 to $2.00 each time you punch in 411 to find a number. If you’re like me, I not only want to hear the number from an operator, but I also want a text message sent . . . just in case I need the number at a later time.

•Your cell phone can be the source for a lot of fun punching in this next number: 866-411-SONG. Believe it or not, you can use your cell phone to identify a song playing on your car radio. You dial these 10 magic numbers and hold the phone near the speaker for 15 seconds. The service will I.D. your song using its 2.5 MILLION-tune database.

After the song is identified, you’ll receive a text message containing the name of the tune . . . and a $0.99 charge on your monthly bill. Of course, if you find yourself continually trying to “name that tune," you can pay $3.99/month for unlimited song IDs. For a music fanatic like myself, that’s not a bad deal.

•Visit this next website to use your cell phone to save a life: Wireless AMBER Alerts. According to the blog lifehacker.com, the first three hours after a child is abducted are the most critical in recovery efforts.

Now with Wireless AMBER Alerts, you enter your phone number and up to five ZIP codes (so the service knows which alerts to send you).

When an AMBER Alert is issued for your area, you’ll receive a text message including the child’s description, where he/she was last seen and any relevant vehicle data. This service is free of charge.

•Finally, you’ll want this handy number stored in your cell phone: 112. According to one blog, the emergency number worldwide for mobile phones is 112. If you’re out of the coverage area of your mobile network, and you face an emergency, dial 112. Your cell phone will search any existing network to establish an emergency number for you.

Now that you’ve found more uses for your cell, why don’t you give it a whirl?

John
Email: johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Are You A Consumer Out of Control?

The Christmas holiday shopping frenzy is at full force. The call of the mall is upon us.

One clever bumper sticker broadcasts: when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.

However, for some, shopping is no laughing matter. “A 2006 Stanford University study has concluded compulsive overspending . . . . is a legitimate disorder that affects approximately 6% [17,000,000] of the U.S. population. . .”

How can you tell if you are a compulsive shopper? Go through this list of questions from a Personal Management Finance blog:

•Does your closet contain lots of shoes or clothes you almost never wear?

•Do you come home with things you didn't plan to buy?

•Do you use shopping as a quick fix for the blues?

•Do you spend more than you can afford?

•Do neighborhood malls possess a mesmerizing appeal for you?

According to studies quoted on medicine.net shopaholics are a lot like people with eating disorders. Shopaholics are more likely to have anxiety disorders and low self-esteem than normal shoppers. They are also more impulsive than average and tend to be perfectionists.”

Some researchers speculate there’s an imbalance of the neurotransmitter serotonin that can play a part in a shopaholic’s compulsion. Shoppers given Prozac-which alters serotonin levels-stopped overshopping. Once they were off the drug, they went back to their habit of overshopping.

From a helpful financial management blog here are some easy steps to prevent you from falling into the shopaholic pattern.

•make a distinction between a “need” and a “want.” Before your take out your wallet, ask yourself whether this purchase is something you truly need . . . such as groceries, or a new pair of shoes for work, or is it just something you want . . . like a new cell phone with more bells and whistles.

•if you struggle with compulsive spending, stay away from discount warehouses and malls. When you need to run errands, try to avoid major shopping districts and malls.

•don’t be lured by sales and good deals. Think ahead before you shop. Don’t buy five of an item because it’s on sale. Chances are you won’t use the other four items.

•Compile a budget and stick to it. Write down your monthly income; set aside a certain amount for savings and jot down the expenses you face every month (food, gasoline etc). Before you entertain visiting the mall, be sure this list is taken care of. You don’t want to spend cash set aside for gasoline to buy five new purses just because they are “on sale.”

•carry a shopping list. Plan your shopping. If you’re going grocery shopping, walk into the supermarket with a list in your hand. Stick to your list.

•reward yourself once in awhile. If you’ve kept your end of the bargain for a month, do something nice for yourself-a facial, going to the movies or eating at an upscale restaurant.

Are you the kind of person who always heeds the call to the mall? This year try something different and turn down the volume. Start listening to the call of common sense and what’s best for you and your family.

John
Email: johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Do You Have a Right to Complain?

We’re always complaining. Don’t believe me?

Tonight at the dinner table . . . jot down every complaint you hear.

It’ll most likely sound like this . . .

I just can’t stand driving in that traffic. I think we need to move closer to where I work.

Mom! We had spaghetti and meatballs two nights ago. What else you got?

Dad, I’m too tired to do homework tonight. I’ve got too much to do.

If one more telemarketer calls me, I’m going to rip that phone out of the wall.

Sound familiar? Face it; you live in a house full of complainers.

What are you going to do about it?

Start with a reality check. The World Bank tells us 56 percent of the world's population lives in extreme poverty. They survive on an income of less than $730 per year or $2 per day. Now that should stop you from complaining . . . oh, for about fifteen minutes.

How about we try something totally different? Go 21 days without complaining.

For 21 days . . . no griping about traffic, having the same meal for dinner two nights in a row, the amount of homework your child brings home or the annoying homeless guy you see in front of the drug store everyday.

Pull this off for 21 days? But how? Here’s what one church attempted to put a halt to the complaining.

Rev. Steve Schwambach handed out 1,900 purple wristbands sporting the phrase “No complaining! Philippians 2:14” to his congregation.

The pastor challenged the people to switch the wristband to the other wrist whenever they complained. That way everyone else would know you’ve been extra crabby.

Did it work for this church? Some people lasted a few hours . . . some made it a few days. The pastor actually snapped his wristband from changing wrists so much.

Come on! We can do better than that.

Beat complaining by doing what the scriptures advise: Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God . . . . (Philippians 2:14-15). Instead of complaining about everything you do, do everything without complaining.

It’s not a matter of sticking a sock in your mouth. Rather do what the scriptures tell us . . try gratitude.

Yes, every life has its share of problems, upsets and disappointments.

But you don’t have to give in to them.

Try this. Each morning make a list. Find three reasons why you’re thankful. Read them aloud throughout the day. Post them to your desk . . . your car dashboard . . .anywhere you will see them. With all this gratitude under your belt, be an encouragement to others instead of a dark cloud.

But what will you do when you actually have a legitimate complaint? Express it. But don’t forget to express how you want to see change and not just criticize what you don’t like.

Okay, time to switch my wristband.

JOHN TESH
Email: johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Families . . . . Please Sit Down and Eat!

We’ve heard it over and over---the family that prays together, stays together. Let’s add one more message---the family that feeds together, succeeds together.

But are families feeding together? Yes! 61% of people surveyed in a Parade Magazine poll said eating together with the family is a regular habit at home.

Sunday is the biggest day for family food time according to 76% of respondents. It’s no surprise that 56% complained Friday night is the hardest time to gather the troops.

Despite the obstacles to family mealtime---both parents working longer hours and the kids off in a zillion directions--- there are 3 major benefits for the family that feeds together:

Family meals promote conversation.

Here’s a surprise: 69% of people surveyed said they look forward to family dinners. That includes the kids.

When your teen complains he’d rather not be with you, ignore her. Why? A Columbia University study shows that 84% of teens would rather eat with their parents than be alone. Don’t be taken aback . . . they do enjoy your company.

What do your children want to talk about at dinner? According to Parade Magazine 81% want to tell you about their day; 43% will discuss favorite movies; 21% talk about religious or spiritual issues. Those dinnertime conversations may be more nutritious than the steamed broccoli.

Family meals are for sharing ideas

I learned from the experts at Emory University that pre-teens whose parents share family stories around the dinner table have a greater sense of self-esteem.

Your kids need to hear the family jokes that are passed down from generation to generation. Adolescents especially need to feel they belong to your family more than they belong to a culture that is often indifferent to the family.

In addition, the dinner table provides opportunity for the kids to observe Mom and Dad calmly discuss family problems and how to solve them.

Family dinners create family unity

Sadly, there are households who allow the family dinner to imitate a fast food restaurant.

The children are treated like customers who need to be pleased. Everyone eats what they want; the older children grab their plate and run off to their bedroom to watch TV.

Any sense of family routine is missing.

Making everyone stick to the same menu is the best thing you could do for your kids.

Sitting down at the family table includes learning to eat what Mom puts before you. Avoid discussion about the fact your son doesn’t like mashed potatoes. Either eat it or don’t eat.

A great idea is to get the kids involved in cooking the meal. If they help mash the potatoes, they’ll eat them.

Robin Fox, an anthropologist at Rutgers University said in Time Magazine, “A meal is about civilizing children.”

In other words, family meals provide a once in a lifetime opportunity to teach table manners: when to get up from the table; how to ask for food to be passed to you; controlling the burping; and not eating until grace is said or until everyone is seated.

For a helpful blogs on “civilizing your family” at mealtime check out DinnerwithDad and The Power of Family Meals.

John
Email: johnsblog@teshmedia.com

How is Your Personal Homeland Security?

Lock your doors! A new wave of home invasions has taken us by surprise.

One USA Today article quotes law-enforcement and security experts who say home invasions are becoming an alarming trend in the U.S.

According to the most recent FBI data, residential robberies, which include home invasions, rose nearly 13% in 2006 from 2002, even as violent crime overall decreased 0.4%. Last year, 64,000 residential robberies were reported.”

Why?

Since stores, banks and offices are better equipped with video surveillance, alarms and guards, robbers are going for the softer targets. Our homes!

A Wall Street Journal article further explains, “In home-invasion robberies . . . thieves hope to confront the occupants, often intending to force victims to open a safe or divulge bank-card PIN numbers. . . . “

In addition, home invasions are “extremely painful” crimes, says a research director at the National Crime Prevention Council. “Your sanctuary, your home is being violated at the same time you’re being violated personally.”

Now you’re wondering, “What can I do to safeguard myself against a home invasion?” From one Insurance blog we discover several steps to help you prevent a home invasion.

•Regardless of where you live, play down your public profile. You raise your chances of being cyberstalked when you blurt out too much detailed personal information about yourself on the internet.

•Whether you live in an apartment or a home, do not accept unscheduled deliveries. To prevent surprise deliveries, have your packages sent to a post office or your work office.

•keep your cool about your money and possessions when you’re out in public. If you like to boast about your finances, how many cars you own or what kind of jewelry your wife has, you’re setting yourself up as a mark.

•be eyes and ears to anyone who might be following you home. Make safe, but unexpected turns on your way home and see if the car behind you is in hot pursuit. If so . . . head to the nearest police station.

•keep your window shades closed at night. Open windows with a well lit home or apartment provides a would-be criminal enough information to assess his chances of a successful home invasion.

•keep track of the background of anyone who has access to your home such as caretakers, gardeners and workers. Know who you allow into your house.

•never make it obvious you’re the only one at home. The fewer occupants at home, the easier the robber’s job becomes. Keep extra lights on. Use a TV or radio to create the illusion of several individuals at home.

If I ended up scaring you, you missed my point. Security for our families is in our hands and is manageable. To do nothing and cower when you hear of a home invasion in the neighborhood makes us defenseless victims.

Be a “take charge person” when it comes to your loved ones and the precious sanctuary you call “home.”

Stay safe,

John

Email: johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Welcome to The John Tesh Blog

If there was a better way to more effectively manage your life, would you want it? Of course! That's why I'm writing The John Tesh Blog.

Think of The John Tesh Blog as your place to visit to get a daily dose of life's lessons.

I'll be writing every chance I get to offer you more Intelligence for Your Life for your marriage, your health, your kids and your career.

Each day you’ll read the best information on the most current issues to help you become the smartest person in the room.

Like the John Tesh radio show, this blog will be a hub where you'll learn . . . you'll grow . . . and you'll find encouragement for living.

Come back soon and check out my blog every day.

John
Email: johnsblog@teshmedia.com