The Etiquette of Movie-Going

Going to the movies used to be a relaxing experience. Not anymore. Now we have to enforce movie theatre etiquette so we can enjoy a film. Otherwise, we have to deal with the distraction of cell phones, text messages, loud off-screen discussions and crying babies.

One Australian journalist was brave enough to list the seven deadly sins of cinema etiquette:

1. Compulsive mobile phone use. I often ask myself, “What’s so important that a person can’t turn off his cell phone for 2 hours and watch a film?" Putting the phone on vibrate mode would be helpful.

If you must answer your cell during a film, here’s a polite way to pull that off. Assuming your phone is on vibrate, when a call comes in, press the talk button on your phone to stop the buzzing. Immediately quietly say to the caller, “One moment please.” Proceed to the exit and resume the conversation in the lobby.

Text messaging is not the answer since your phone glows a blue hue when a text comes in. Once you receive a text, you normally answer it and chances are there will be a few more distracting exchanges.

My suggestion is to leave your phone off and pick up your messages after the show.

2. Forgetting you’re not in the theatre lobby. Discussions about the film’s actors or the script don’t belong in the theatre during the show. You know there’s always someone next to you who has seen the film already giving a blow-by-blow account of what’s coming up.

There are also well meaning people who verbally offer advice to the actors in the drama, “No! Don’t touch that! You’ll blow up! . . . The killer’s behind the green door. Don’t open it!”

3. Engaging in loud non-movie chatter. If you need to talk about tonight’s dinner plans or last night’s date from hell, save this chatter for the commercials and trailers. Once the film starts, leave the discussion of non-movie issues outside.

4. Loudly opening a candy box and eating the contents. Opening candy boxes and soda cans is noisy. Whether you’re aware or not, loudly slurping the last remnants of your Pepsi is competition to a film’s musical soundtrack and dialogue. The munching of popcorn, the crinkling of the bag as it’s passed along the row and the opening of the fried chicken wrappers from the fast food you sneaked into the theatre are also highly distracting. We should do our best to do these things quietly . . . except for sneaking in the fast food.

5. Showing up late to a film. Once I’m in my seat, I’m ready to blast off. Occasionally a latecomer will ask me to move my seat so he can sit together with his date. That means I have to move further away from seeing the screen. There are other alternatives to walking in late: latecomers can sit in the dreaded front row; they can also see a later movie or they can be separated from their date for 120 minutes.

6. Kicking and knocking into other customers. Have you ever sat in front of someone who can’t shift his body in his seat without kicking the back of your chair? I usually go lurching forward when I’m rear-ended in a movie theatre. You have to kindly turn around the tell them to stop kicking the seat and hope they won’t stick gum in your hair as revenge.

7. Irresponsible parents. Children who walk into a theatre with their parents are the responsibility of those parents. A noisy baby or a bored child who becomes disruptive bothers everyone in the theater and the parents of the child should be aware of how their child’s behavior is affecting the audience. Until a child is old enough, it’s best to enjoy videos at home or hire a sitter when you want to enjoy a first-run feature.

Going to see a film should not be a time when you must be a movie cop. Let’s make our theatres a haven for people who love to go to the movies.

John
Email John: johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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