What Do We Learn from Britney Spears?

Every time we hear the latest news about Britney Spears, we wince anticipating the next train wreck.

For starters, Britney has a torrid marital history. In 2004 she married a childhood friend in Las Vegas and 55 hours later annulled the relationship.

After eight months Ms. Spears married backup dancer Kevin Federline, now the father of her two children.

Two months after her second child was born, Britney filed for divorce. The court awarded Federline physical and legal custody of the children, and stripped her of all visitation rights.

On the flip side of Britney’s behavior, her mother Lynne, has recently written a book on parenting: Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World. Nashville publisher, Thomas Nelson, has pulled the book from the book trade.

In addition to Lynne’s troubles with Britney, the media has revealed her 16-year-old daughter, Jamie Lynn, is having a child out of wedlock.

Despite the tendency to pin the blame on the mother for her daughters’ antics, Lorilee Craker, co-author with Lynne Spears comments, "Lynne, first of all, is a wonderful person. She is one of the kindest, most decent people, and very down-to-earth . . . she's not a stage mom.”

The saga of Lynne Spears tells us being the perfect Mom or Dad does not guarantee “perfect daughters.”

One area where Moms and Dads need greater sensitivity to their daughters is body image.

The seriousness of this problem is supported by a report from the National Institute on Media and the Family: “by age 13, some 53 percent of American girls are unhappy with their bodies; that figure grows to 78 percent by the time girls reach 17. In another study on fifth graders, 10-year-old girls and boys told researchers they were dissatisfied with their own bodies after watching a music video by Britney Spears.”

So what’s a parent, especially a Mom to do?

Here are five easy-to-do steps to establish a new connection with your teenage daughter:

•Don’t give up the ship. Know you still have a lot of influence on your kids. It’s never too late. A survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy reveals most adolescents cite their parents as the most influential voice when it comes to their decisions about sex.

•Pray. Even if you're not the most religious person, it’s always helpful to pray for protection for your girls.

•Keep the communication lines open. Avoid giving speeches and lectures to your kids. Have discussions. Listen to their opinions. Help them think analytically about what they are exposed to . . . TV shows, films and the behavior of pop stars.

•Carefully encourage independence. Train your kids to think for themselves instead of piling more and more rules on them. Teens need to make their own wise decisions and not depend on their parents for every choice.

•Model the behavior you desire. Mom, if you’re telling your daughter to dress more modestly, be sure you’re providing an example in the way you dress. In areas where your daughter is experiencing pressure from her peers, model appropriate responses in the decisions you make.

•Offer forgiveness. Your daughter may have already made poor choices. Regardless, make sure she knows she’s loved no matter what mistakes she has made. Remind her she can always start over.

Just a reminder . . . to find out more how you can pre-order a copy of my new hardcover book Intelligence for Your Life: Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth, click here.

John
Email John: johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Comments

[Trish Berg]

John-

I was so excited to read your post about the new Lynne Spears book. You see, Lorilee Craker is a writer frined of mine, and I know she put her heart into this book.

I just encourage moms not to judge people until they know their story.

As a mom of four 12 and younger, I know how easy it is to look at someone like Brittney and say, "Well, no surprise there. Where are the parents?"

We even look at neighbors and friends with unruly teens and judge their parenting.

So, this book, and your post is vital to better our understanding, our compassion, and our faith as we do our best to raise our own children to walk with God.

So, thank you-

Blessings in Christ-
Trish Berg
Author, Speaker, and Mother of 4
www.TrishBerg.com