Creating A Happy Family

How hard do you have to work to have a happy family?  According to family experts, the key to family happiness is working smarter rather than harder.

In today's excerpt from my new book Intelligence For Your Life:  Powerful Lessons For Personal Growth, I'll share with you what I learned from the professionals as well as what works in my house.

What makes a happy family? We have the benefit of thousands of books written by family counselors and medical doctors and Ph.Ds, all studying the family dynamic. And over the last fifty years or so, television has offered plenty of different templates for family life, from Ozzie and Harriet’s family to Ozzie Osbourne’s family. Here’s my take on what it takes to make a happy family, courtesy of hundreds of pieces I’ve read on the topic.

Routines.

All the experts agree that it’s up to the parents to provide a home that’s characterized by order and stability. Homes where anything goes aren’t really giving children freedom, but promoting chaos. Such an environment actually makes children feel nervous; they don’t like living a haphazard life (even if they think they want a little more freedom than they’re getting). Children need routine so they can feel calm and reassured.

Connie and I work hard to try and give Prima a day with a schedule, clear rules, and an organized home. In return, she feels relaxed and comfortable, which makes her a happy girl. Her solid home base doesn’t waver even when life gives her ups and downs. Of course, you can’t always prevent a crisis, but in an organized, stable home, kids know that most of their life will not change even during the rough times.

One area that’s crucial here is having a calm bedtime routine. If you end the day with chaos, it doesn’t promote calm sleep and even causes your child to lose sleep. Keep the bedtime routine simple and turn it into a routine: A bath, prayers, a little reading, and a goodnight kiss. Simple. Routine.

Family Meetings.

We hold family meetings on a regular basis to discuss anything and everything. My children also have the right to call for a family meeting. This makes for a happier household because family members of all ages know that they will have a certain time to talk about what’s bothering them or even to share good news.

Children are happy knowing that they will be heard, knowing that they don’t have to internalize their problems. Family meetings can also be spirited, joyous occasions. (There is no rule that family meetings have to be about a problem.) This is also a good time to plan for the week ahead and avoid any anxiety about what’s on the horizon. How will you handle Wednesday when there’s a soccer game for one child plus a swim meet for another child? It can all be worked out at a family meeting, as can vacation plans, spring-cleaning, or what to do for Mom’s birthday next month.

I have a whole lot more I want to tell you about running a well-oiled family.  You can find additional information in my upcoming book Intelligence For Your Life.   You can pre-order the book before March 11th for half price plus you'll get a free copy of my new DVD John Tesh Alive Music & Dance, by just clicking here.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com