How To Be A Great Date

Are you tired of dating games?  Today's excerpt from my book Intelligence For Your Life:  Powerful Lessons For Personal Growth, offers honest advice on how to be a great date.

The “Dating and Relationships” channel on our Web site gets a great deal of attention as our listeners dig deeper to follow up on the stories we share on the air. There are a lot of very intelligent people studying the art of the successful relationship. Here’s a lightning round of some of the best information I’ve been able to learn from the experts who have contributed to our radio show.

Be flexible. It’s good to have a plan for the date, but the best way to set up plans these days is to offer your date a few choices of what you can do. Say, “After dinner would you rather go listen to some live music or go see a movie?” This way you’re showing that you don’t have to be in control all the time.

Remember to turn off your cell phone. Unless you have children or you’re waiting for news about a liver transplant, turn the cell phone off. It’s too tempting to keep checking who is calling each time it rings, and your date might just think it’s another man or woman. Turn it off. The same thing goes for your BlackBerry. It’s disrespectful to divide your attention between the person in front of you and a beeping little piece of plastic. It also says, “You’re only semiimportant to me.”

Cool it with the lavish compliments. I know someone who went on a first date with a potential suitor who lavished her with praise from loving her eyes to her long flowing hair to her gorgeous dress. He told her she was the smartest, most beautiful, funniest, sweetest, most caring woman on the planet. The problem is that before the date they only had one conversation—on the phone! So it all seemed extremely phony. How did he know her? He didn’t, so his words and compliments seemed superficial and worked against him. It was almost as if he was handing her a line. It’s better to say something meaningful such as, “That’s a gorgeous color of yellow on you” or “You’re really funny.” Just stick to one compliment and mean it.

It’s no longer cool to play it cool. No doubt you’ve heard the “three-day rule”—wait three days after a date to call. Whoever made up that rule was dating at least ten years ago. If you like someone and had a great time, call him or her right away. This shows interest and will most likely result in a follow-up date. You’ll also set yourself apart from all the other people who are still following that silly three-day rule.

Chivalry is not dead. Men, open doors for your date. Pull her chair out for her. And be on time.

Treat everyone you encounter with respect and kindness. This goes for both men and women. How you treat the maitre d’ or the wait staff or the valet parker is how your date will think you are going to treat him or her . . . eventually.

Before you pick up your cell phone to make your next date, you can find more tips on being a great date in my new book Intelligence For Your Life:  Powerful Lessons For Personal Growth.  You can pre-order it today at half price and you'll receive a free John Tesh Alive Music&Dance DVD by just clicking here.

John
Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com