Where Have All The Friends Gone?

How is your circle of friends? Is it growing larger or shrinking?  Who do you turn to when you desperately need a friend?

In today's excerpt from my new book Intelligence For Your Life:  Powerful Lessons For Personal Growth I am sharing several powerful tips on how to make and keep good friends.

When it comes to adults, our circle of friends has decreased by a third over the past nineteen years, according to Health magazine. And it’s not just that we’re lacking dinner dates. We also have fewer people to turn to when we’re sad, stressed, or otherwise in crisis. And this means we miss the health benefits of having a strong, social network—which can do everything from boost your immune system to protect you from heart disease, cancer, depression, and anxiety.

Marla Paul is the author of The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore. And she says people tend to think of friendship as something you fit in when all the important stuff is done. But friends are not a luxury— they’re an essential part of a healthy lifestyle. Here are some of her suggestions for making and keeping good friends:

Talk to strangers. You may have a lot in common with the person you see on the train every day—you just don’t know it yet. So get to talking. You may find out that you both love George Strait and Asian cooking—then BOOM! instant friendship.

Google your old best friend. You may have fallen out of touch since graduation, but your former best bud probably still has all the same wonderful qualities that brought you together in your youth. And if they were a good friend then, they might be an even better friend now that you’re both more mature and grounded.

Do something new. Something you really enjoy—so you can meet others who share your passion. Maybe you like the wilderness! If you join a hiking group, you’re bound to find potential friends you can bond with. And you’ll be seeing the same faces over and over, so your introduction won’t be quite as intimidating.

Alter your habits. People tend to fall into ruts. But this makes it unlikely that we’ll meet anyone new. So pick a different coffee shop, a different walking path, or a different evening activity. Take a new class or join a club. Greet every new person you encounter with a friendly “hello” and be open to the possibility of a conversation.

Check out my upcoming book Intelligence For Your Life:  Powerful Lessons For Personal Growth where you'll find a lot more suggestions for finding and keeping new friends.  Take advantage of our special offer and pre-order the book at half price plus you'll receive a free John Tesh Alive Music&dance DVD . To order the book, just click here.

Comments

[Summer]

I grew up in an average sized city but I've been here all my life having attended k-8 in almost every school in the county before all the schools dumped into one big highschool. (As I grew up with single mother and as a single child we moved a lot) So in highschool I had many 'Best-friends'. During my junior year I moved out of state for about six months before coming back. I felt as though I had moved into another unfamiliar place once again because everyone I had known had since dropped off the face of the earth! I was alone in what had once been my comfort zone. So one afternoon I made a trip to all of my old hang outs and started asking if so-and-so still stopped in and left my number for the staff to give to those fermilliar faces.

And voila! Within a month I was back in touch with everyone I had lost plus some! It was the best move I ever made!

[your friend Dana]

Friends are so important John that is so true. I always go with my instincs too. Like my really good buddy who I had somehow sadly lost contact with was on my mind for 3 days BOOM there she was in my email inbox. She had tracked me down! So when your thinking of an old friend really strongly or it keeps reoccuring I say pick up an phone or write a short note- odds are they are probably thinking of you too- maybe too busy to say hello too. If everybody is too busy with Life then where is the life and the NOW? I Love your post John!