Women: Arguing With Your Spouse May Be Good For Your Heart

Sooner or later your heart doctor may prescribe an argument with your spouse as necessary medicine. 

Researchers at Boston University and the Eaker Epidemiology Enterprise tracked nearly 4000 men and women and asked whether they vented their feelings or kept quiet during arguments with their spouse.

Notably, 32% of the men and 23% of the women said they bottled up their feelings during a marital spat.

We used to think if you scream at your partner, you’re damaging your heart. Not so fast.  The opposite may be true.

What experts discovered is that marital strain in itself has little effect on women in the development of heart disease.  Rather, women who usually or always keep their feelings bottled up when in conflict with their husbands have more than four times the risk of dying.

My advice for women who are married or in any close relationship is this: Speak up and get those feelings out before you drop dead of a heart attack!

Husbands, encourage your wives to express her feelings and please don’t ask her to be silent. Her health may be at risk!

Elaine Eaker, an epidemiologist in Gaithersburg, Md., who was the study’s lead author said,  “This doesn’t mean women should start throwing plates at their husbands, but there needs to be a safe environment where both spouses can equally communicate.”

Other than self-silencing on the part of women, another cause of heart problems has to do with the arguing style of spouses. Timothy W. Smith, psychology professor at the University of Utah, argues that the way couples interact is as important of a heart risk factor as having high cholesterol or smoking.

150 couples were videotaped in a University of Utah study and watched as they discussed stressful topics like money or household chores.  Once again, for the woman, her husband’s arguing style had the biggest effect on her health. 

A warm style of arguing in which either spouse listens to the other and provides feedback, lowered the wife’s risk of heart disease.  However, with men the level of warmth or hostility had no effect on his cardiac health.  It’s when a man disagrees with his wife and battles for control that his heart risk increases! 

If we put these findings together, it all makes sense. Women put a silencer on their emotions out of fear that their husbands won’t give them a chance to speak up.  As a result, these suppressed emotions contribute to female heart disease.

When the woman does air her concerns and the man responds in hostility, she’s likely to silence herself in the future and put herself at further cardiac risk.

On the other hand, if you look long enough, you can find studies that show mere marital strife in itself can raise your risk for heart attack.  These experts say arguing styles don’t matter; a bad marriage is all you need to put you in your cardiologist’s office.

A recent British project shows those individuals with the worst close relationships were 34% more likely to have heart attacks or other heart trouble during the 12 years the study took place.   One researcher admits, “being married in general [is] good, but be careful about the kind of person you have married.” 

Can we agree on one thing for the women?  Whether you clam up during a marital disagreement or you let it all hang out, a bad marriage filled with strife can damage your heart.

John   

Email John: johnsblog@earthlink.net

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