The John Tesh Blog

Think your way to a better life

Way back in the 1960s, when everything was brand-new, the Beatles introduced Maharishi Mahesh Yogi to national television audiences in American and the UK. The Maharishi came to the West with the Beatles to introduce a new thing - Transcendental Meditation.

At the time most Westerners were not familiar with meditation in any form. The Maharishi introduced a simple method that has become well-known and popular over the years. Meditation is even more important to our health and well-being in the 21st century than ever before.

It takes a lot to maintain good health these days. Of course, eating a healthy diet - with plenty of fruits and vegetables - and exercising regularly are the cornerstones of good health. Sufficient rest is another key ingredient - most of us require at least seven hours of sleep each night to restore energy and vitality.

There is another essential factor - one that is less well-recognized and easy to overlook. In the early years of the 21st century we all need to find ways to manage our daily levels of stress. If we tell the truth, for most of us, our stress levels are off the charts.

Meditation can be a powerful tool for reducing the impact of stress on our bodies, and for helping us to better manage the stress in our lives.  Meditation is simple and straightforward- all that is required of you is a commitment to making the time (a small amount of time!) in your day.

You don't need any special equipment. You don't need incense or candles. You don't even need a mat or a cushion. You can do meditation sitting in a comfortable, straight-backed chair.

There are many methods and ways of practicing meditation. In Transcendental Meditation you silently repeat a simple phrase to yourself. You focus on the phrase, known as a mantra. In Zen meditation, you focus on your breath - not by breathing deeply, but rather as a means to focus your attention. Breathe in, breathe out. Your attention wanders. Notice that, and return your focus to the breath.

You may feel a desire to engage in a daily prayer during this time. Or, you can simply sit quietly. Close the door and turn off your cell phone. Make sure everyone in your home knows this is your alone time. Just sit quietly for ten minutes, allowing yourself to relax. Find a place within yourself on which to focus, and let yourself go. Set aside ten minutes a day. You'll find that you eagerly look forward to this quiet time and that you emerge refreshed and revitalized.

And wouldn't it be the greatest discovery for your family to reap the benefits of the time you've committed to yourself?  Minutes, my friend- do you deserve them? I think so.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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It's not pleasant to think about, but what would happen if you became injured, or too ill to make your own decisions?  Would those now fall into the hands someone you trust implicitly, or a legally closer, yet obscure, family member chosen by the state?  Liz Pulliam Weston, a personal finance writer, advises to not wait.  Make your decisions known, and soon. 

Take this scenario: your mother, out of state, suffers a severe stroke. In the final months of her life, every decision, outside of perhaps picking a daily outfit to wear, is made by someone else. Decisions regarding her life- what she'll eat, how her bills are paid and how hard her caregivers should fight to keep her alive- are now being made by others.  Would you, let alone your mother, feel comfortable with this?

Most Americans don't have wills, but that's not the crisis that many in the estate-planning industry would have you believe. With a few exceptions, which we'll talk about below, most people's quality of life won't be much improved by a will.

Who would pay your bills or wrangle with insurance companies about your care? Who would decide whether to sue that driver who hit you -- or to shut off the respirator that's keeping you going?

The state will eventually find someone to fill these roles, after a potentially costly and time-consuming court hearing. But it might not be the person you would want. So at a time when you're most vulnerable, life-and-death decisions could be made for you by a stranger -- or an estranged, distant or greedy relative.

That's why you need the following documents:

• A durable power of attorney for health care, which lets you identify who will make medical decisions for you. (This is also known as an advance directive or health care proxy.)

• A durable power of attorney for finances, which designates who'll handle money decisions.

• A living will, which tells doctors exactly what kind of care you do and don't want to receive if you're terminally ill and incapacitated. (Some states, including Kentucky, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Carolina, Virginia and Wyoming, combine the living will and the durable power of attorney for health care in the same form.)

Fortunately, you can get these documents, plus a basic will, drawn up by an attorney for $300 to $500 in most areas. You can also buy software, such as Quicken WillMaker, for about $40 if you want to do the work yourself.

The point is, just do it. Strokes and accidents don't happen just to other people.

If you need more convincing, consider the case of Robert Wendland, who was severely injured in a 1993 car crash at age 42, sparking a gut-wrenching court battle between his wife and his mother that ended up before the California Supreme Court.

Wendland was in a coma for 16 months before recovering what doctors called "minimal consciousness." He could catch a ball and play with infant toys but couldn't speak, eat, walk, recognize his family or comprehend a Saturday morning cartoon. Doctors said his condition was not terminal but would never improve.

Wendland's wife, Rose, whom a court had appointed as his conservator, decided he wouldn't have wanted to live as he was and asked doctors to remove his feeding and hydration tubes. Wendland's mother, Florence, went to court to keep him alive. Eventually, California's top court sided with the mother -- a few weeks after Wendland died of pneumonia, after surviving on life support for eight years.

Although courts have allowed family members to disconnect life support from unconscious, terminally ill patients who didn't express their wishes clearly, the California justices were reluctant to set such a precedent for "minimally conscious" patients.

Had Wendland created durable powers of attorney or any other paperwork detailing how and whether he wanted life support to be used, the court battle may have been prevented, legal experts said. That's because the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that every individual has a right to direct his or her own medical care, even if loved ones disagree with those directions.

And let me tell you: Not having clear instructions, or having to fight with other family members over what you think a loved one would want, is pure anguish.

Of course, thinking about these issues is not fun, which is probably why most people avoid it. You have to ponder some of the grimmest circumstances imaginable. Do I want to be on a respirator if I'm conscious? If I'm unconscious? Do I want food and water withheld? How about pain medication?

There are so many issues to ponder that Weston highly recommends ordering copies of Your Way, a guide created by nonprofit group HELP, to aid you in deciding what you want and don't want if you're incapacitated.

You also have to figure out whom to name as your "attorney in fact," or proxy, to help implement these decisions for you. Keep in mind:

• Two heads may be better than one. You don't have to name the same person for both powers of attorney. In fact, many people find that the people they trust to make health care decisions are different from the ones they want handling their finances.

• Spouses are good, but have a backup. If you're married or in a committed partnership, that person is a logical choice to fill both roles. But you'll still need backups in case he or she is injured or killed in an accident with you, or is unable or unwilling to serve.

• Keep them close. For the health care directive, you'll probably want people who are nearby or at least willing to travel to the hospital to be with you, perhaps for an extended time. The person handling your finances may be able to do so remotely, although you may still prefer to name someone who lives relatively close for convenience. In addition to paying your bills and handling insurance claims, the person handling your finances may also need to sell your home or make other complicated moves that require more proximity.

• Make sure they're tough. With your health care proxy, especially, you need someone who's forceful enough and committed enough to your stated wishes to advocate for you, regardless of what others (including family and medical professionals) might think.

You can change these documents at any time, as long as you're still competent. You probably should review them about once a year to make sure you're still comfortable with your decisions.

Once you make these arrangements for yourself, start bugging your parents to get their documents in order. If you're not sure how to start that conversation, you can tell them about your own efforts to deal with incapacity or relate a horror story from a friend's experience (ask around; you'll find some). If nothing else, print off a copy of this, and attach a "Let's talk about this" note.

Now, back to the issue of wills. Really, many people want more control over who gets their stuff than state law dictates. If you're wealthy, estate-planning documents also can help you reduce potential taxes, which can give you peace of mind while you're alive. That said, there is one group of people who should absolutely, no question, have wills, and that's parents of minor children. Even if you can't agree on who gets the crystal,

you need to agree on who would take care of your children in the event of your death. No matter how icky you feel about planning for your own demise, you owe it to your kids to spare them the potentially ugly and drawn-out custody battle that could ensue if you don't make these decisions now.

Weston, wisely, encourages anyone vulnerable in these areas to go make that appointment with an attorney or buy the software- right now. A small investment of your time could spare you and your loved ones a lot of grief, as well as to be able to give them one last piece of your compassion if they come to a time demanding difficult decisions regarding you.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Ready for October? Here's our challenge!

Summertime has passed- we're settling into our newfound Autumn, aren't we? September is nearly gone! October is just around the corner- Thursday!- and with the beginning of October, I've got an idea to throw out to you- ready?  How about a 30 day challenge- beginning Thursday- to not spend money.  Wait a minute- before you tune out- I mean it. It's what personal-finance experts call a no-spend month. Also called a buy-nothing month, it's a 30-day period of superfrugality in which you cut out all extras, buy only basic necessities and spend as little money as possible.

With families facing so much economic uncertainty, it's more crucial than ever to beef up your emergency fund and pay off debt.

A no-spend month can be an effective short-term strategy to pad your savings account, free up extra money to tackle your debt, realign your spending with your values and generally cut financial fat.

Take this example: a Texas family decided to limit all family spending for food, entertainment, fuel and clothing- anything not a regular monthly bill such as a mortgage or car payment- to $250, when they normally spend $350 a month on groceries alone.

This family did it by cooking all meals from scratch, using basic fresh ingredients and food from their pantry, running multiple errands on each car trip, and walking instead of driving whenever possible. Instead of lunch out from the office every day, they also took up brown bagging lunch every day.

This could be an eye-opening experiment for you! Instead of out heading out shopping or doing things that cost money, you may find more free time to take a closer look at your regular monthly bills.  Now's the time to find your inner creativity, friend, by relying heavily on your pantry for meals. Use washable rags instead of paper towels, make your own laundry detergent or floor cleaner (vinegar and water works wonders!) and try using inexpensive homemade alternatives to household cleaners- how much vinegar do you have, and make sure to have a good supply beforehand of baking soda!)

"Anyone can do anything for 30 days," says MSN Money personal-finance columnist Liz Pulliam Weston, the author of "Easy Money: How to Simplify Your Finances and Get What You Want Out of Life."  Liz estimates that a 30-day spending diet could save families an average of $400 and put them in a better position should a job loss or other calamity occur. "If you do this, you have taught yourself what your (financial) weaknesses are, and you have already experienced the difference between a need and a want," Weston says.

If you want to try your hand at 30 days of superfrugality, there are several ways to structure your month of not spending.

• Set a dollar figure for spending for the month and stick to it.
• Cut out all luxuries without setting a dollar limit.
• Combine a 30-day short-term spending diet with an effort to boost your income.

Like our example family, you could give yourself a set budget for the month and then try to fit all household purchases into that budget. Recurring monthly bills, such as your mortgage, student loan, car payments, utility bills and credit card bills are excluded from this amount.

The limited-budget approach can require creativity.

How can you spend only $1 on entertainment for the entire month? How about recent issues of your favorite magazine- normally a big impulse by while you're waiting in line at the grocery store- at a fraction of the price at a local thrift store?  Looking for dinner that very night? Look for lower-cost alternatives to meat to stretch your grocery dollars- a markdown of a good quality meat, bulked up with lots of in-season produce.

The second approach to the 30-day spending fast is to forgo the set-dollar-amount budget and simply cut out all luxuries instead. In this case, money can only be spent on necessities.

Weston, herself, took the challenge in 2006, by buying only necessities, and seeing the things she and her husband were spending money on that they didn't need to.  For instance, previously, if she had 15 minutes between meetings, she would fill the time by buying a cup of coffee. And though she rarely bought new clothes for herself, Weston didn't think twice about outfitting her toddler daughter with new duds. "It surprised me how much of my spending was automatic."

The key to making the second option effective is to dig deep to determine what is a luxury and what is truly a necessity, says Harrine Freeman, the author of "How to Get Out of Debt: Get an 'A' Credit Rating for Free."

Of course, this will vary from family to family, but, in general, recurring bills, gas and groceries would be considered necessities while lattes, restaurant meals and new shoes would definitely be off-limits.

The third option is to combine a 30-day spending diet with an effort to boost your income. That can be as simple as cleaning out your attic or basement and selling everything on eBay or Craigslist, Freeman says. "You can use what you save and what you earn to pay down debt or create an emergency fund."

No matter which route you choose, a month of minimal spending can lead to a real, workable and long-term household budget and spur you to permanently cut the fat from your spending.

A 30-day spending diet can be a valuable precursor to a budget you might actually stick to because "at the end of the month, there is a very real, tangible financial benefit. You can actually see how much you saved," says Brad Stroh, a co-founder of Bills.com. "It gives you a sense of empowerment and control over your money that can lure you into the game."

Superslim budgets with no room for fun, though, are doomed to fail. The goal is not to cut out all sources of joy in your life, it's to spend only on the things and experiences that are truly important to you, might improve your life, things you use and enjoy a lot, and that will give you a great internal lift- not just a momentary lift.

You might just be amazed how little (money) you can live on once you have some experience in spending very little.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Don't have an hour to spend working out every day? That's okay.

Could this be your thinking? 1) Only epic workouts produce results, 2) you simply do not have time for epic, hour long or more workouts in any week you can imagine, and 3) the result is, you're just not able to do the work to get yourself in better physical condition. Has this thinking gotten you (nowhere) in the past?  May I ask you to...think again?  New research, here from Oprah.com, suggests that brief activity bursts can pay off big. Now that's pretty hopeful- even if you've got a mere 10 minutes to carve out of your day- that's wonderful!

20 minutes a week—Lower Your Stress

After reviewing the lifestyles of nearly 20,000 of their countrymen, British researchers found that 20 minutes a week of moderate activity (such as golfing, gardening, walking, or doing chores) was all it took to significantly reduce the risk of psychological distress.

70 minutes a week—Gain Endurance
Researchers at Ontario's McMaster University asked eight people to alternate 30-second sprints on a stationary bicycle with four minutes of rest. After doing four to seven intervals three times a week for two weeks, the sprinters posted big gains: On an endurance test in which the subjects pedaled until they got tired, they completed an average of 51 minutes, up from 26 minutes.

10 minutes a day—Get More Energy, Lift Your Mood
Researchers at Northern Arizona University asked 21 college students to rate their vigor, fatigue, and mood before—and shortly after—cycling for 10, 20, and 30 minutes. After 10 minutes on a stationary bike, their energy and mood improved considerably. The 20-minute workout provided only a tiny boost over the 10-minute lift; by 30 minutes, energy levels and mood had fallen slightly below the 10-minute peak.

65 minutes a week—Help Prevent Diabetes
The catch? The effort has to be intense. British researchers asked 16 exercisers to spin at full speed on a stationary bike for 30 seconds four to six times, with a four-minute rest between sprints. They did this regimen three times a week for two weeks. At the end of the trial, participants' insulin function had improved by 23 percent. (Enhancing insulin function can lower the risk of diabetes.)

The point I really hope you can find here, my friend, is that your physical fitness is, indeed, much like a savings account.  Deposits in, little by little, will have you seeing results. Money- more of it. Fitness- more of it. That's it.  I hope you can carve out 10 minutes for yourself this weekend- start making a deposit in the You Bank soon! And enjoy a great first weekend of Autumn!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Get every thread out of your clothes!

Remember when your mom, or maybe your grandma made clothes for the family?  Really!  Complete with tissue folded up in a pattern envelope, finding the suitable fabric, and the seamstress hunkered over a loyal whirring sewing machine.  Hmm. That just doesn't happen much anymore, does it? While it's true that factory made clothing has become our norm, and that it's not only possible, but likely we try to buy our off the rack clothes on sale, that doesn't mean they've become disposable, like batteries!  In fact, with everyone trying to stretch their dollars further these days, it makes sense to take care of the things we have, rather than buy replacements. This goes for clothing as much as anything else we own and use on a daily basis. Andrea Dickson, writing for MSN Money is a self proclaimed former clotheshorse, and has these ideas to help you stop shopping for the latest trends on a daily basis.

Know thyself. The first step in maintaining a wardrobe is to be aware of your cleaning limits and your clothing habits.

If you can't afford to dry-clean clothing, don't buy dry-clean-only clothes. If you despise ironing and avoid it with all your might, don't build your wardrobe around French cuff shirts or blouses that need starching. You'll only regret it later when you can't be bothered with the cost or hassle of upkeep, and you'll either have to get rid of the clothes, or wear them wrinkled.

If you have a habit of spilling coffee down your front, there's no shame in wearing lots of chocolate brown, charcoal gray and navy blue. Dark colors hide a multitude of clumsy moments. 

Make sure that you don't fold clothes that need to be hung and don't hang clothes that need to be folded. Sweaters stretch on the hanger and dress shirts don't do well folded, unless you are an expertly masterful folder of some kind.

Dress for the task at hand. It can be tempting to simply get messy chores done while wearing whatever it is we wore at work, but that's a fast way to ruin work clothes. There's a reason why moms frequently make a distinction between their kids' play clothes and school clothes. If tacking a potentially dirty project, don't do it in a dress shirt and slacks. Change into your grubbiest before you get muddy. Also, wear an apron while cooking. Who the heck wants to ruin a favorite dress or shirt because you still had it on while stirring a pot of simmering marinara sauce?

Stop laundering so often. It's really easy to want to wash an item of clothing after having worn it just once. But washing an item of clothing is the fastest way to help the fibers break down. The fewer times you have to wash an item of clothing, the longer it will last, so says blogger Donna Freedman on MSN Money.

If you just aren't able to rehang worn (but clean) clothing, it's OK to drape it over surfaces like your dresser or a chair, just as long as you don't drop it on the floor. Once clothes are on the floor, they will have to be washed before being worn again, but a draped shirt will live to see another day of wear...after which, maybe you'll put your item of clothing in touch with the closet again!

The following items can help you wear a shirt or a pair of pants more than once before washing:

• Tide to Go pen. These little pens cost less than $5, last a long time, and will save your blouse when you manage to drop a dollop of marinara down the front. Here's a chance for you to wow your co-workers and friends by how quickly this trick works to remove stains from fabric. Shout stick stain remover works well, on large stains, but the Tide pen allows you to use the stain treatment without having to wash the clothing item immediately after.

• Lint roller. Sometimes a pair of black slacks doesn't really need to be washed; it just needs to have your fave feline's cat hair removed from around the cuffs. Or maybe it's your cute little white Schnauzer, who lives to show you how much he loves you...when you're wearing dark colors.  Figures, huh?  It's not that he's dirty -- he just sheds like it's going out of style. Keep lint rollers around in every room to keep your pants, and you, like the professional you are! Good idea to keep one at the office to pick up additional stray hair and fluff that inevitably follows us wherever we go!

• Deodorant. Your shirts will smell better and stand up to multiple wearings if you yourself don't stink.

Keep all those buttons. Every time you buy a new clothing item that comes with spare buttons, immediately put the buttons in a jar or box reserved entirely for buttons and spare thread. It's easy to lose track of these important surplus buttons, and it's one of the fastest ways for a cardigan to become useless.

Wash everything in cold water. People who wash their clothing in cold water will notice a drop in their energy bills very quickly. In addition, many fabrics (especially nylon and elastics) hold up better when subjected to less heat. Cold-water detergents are designed to remove dirt even without the help of hot water, but even normal detergent will work well. Also, even though we all want to try our hardest to be a sticklers for the environment, sometimes a good capful of bleach will do amazing things for your whites -- it's almost like having new clothing.  Tough stains?  Pre-treat, of course.

Obey the laws of color separation. At the end of a long day, with loads and loads of laundry facing you, it can be tempting to just throw the reds in with the blues, but try to keep like colors washed with like colors. Reds and blues fade easily, and everyone knows how one red sock can turn a whole load of whites a light shade of rose. Try your best to keep dissimilar colors apart in the laundry.

Zip up jeans/hoodies before washing them. Unzipped zipper edges on pants and hoodies are often very rough, and if left unzipped during the washing and drying cycles, they'll chew up the rest of your clothing in no time. Make sure that all zippers are zipped to the top before tossing them in the wash.

Be considerate of your underthings. Don't tumble dry your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. Bras and underwear made of fabrics and fabric blends (especially nylon) besides cotton don't do well in the heat of a dryer. Hang or drape them to air dry instead. And those little mesh bags that your mother used to nag you to use when washing delicate unmentionables? They really do help to keep things like straps from wrapping around other clothing while in the wash. Be sure to fasten all hooks as well, to keep them from catching on delicate knits or sweaters.

Slip into something new. Consider wearing some of the more traditional underclothes that fell out of fashion for a time. They're back! Slips, undershirts and body shapers (yes- in another form, your grandmother might have called it a girdle) will both help your clothing drape better over your body, and also protect clothing from sweat stains and friction that can cause wear and tear. Lots of revamped options out there- for men, as well as for women.

You obviously don't have to spend nearly as much for a cotton undershirt or a silk slip, but these things keep clothing away from your skin, and it doesn't matter if they get stained, since no one else is going to see them. Undershirts, slips and camisoles can help your clothing last longer.

Notice your surroundings. That great chair you just knew was going to be super comfortable, and is, might also be rubbing the seat of your pants the wrong way. If you are noticing increased wear on your clothing, look around to see what part of your work or home environment could be contributing to it. The edge of your desk might be wearing down your shirt cuffs. Look for small ways to improve your position so that your clothing isn't taking a beating while you are working.

Clean and/or polish your shoes frequently. Polishing may seem a bit tedious, but frequently wiping down your shoes with a barely damp cloth will prevent dirt from settling into cracks permanently, and keep leather from getting too dry (which causes cracking).

Don't wear dress shoes while driving.  Men or women- have you noticed a

great pair of dress shoes or pumps start to look pretty shabby just by you doing nothing more than drive? The back of the heel can rub against your car's floor mats, and before long, those fantastic black shoes are spotting fuzzy gray patches on the back where the carpet did its work.  How about keeping a pair of driving moccasins or sandals in the car and put the more expensive shoes on once you get where you're going.

Patch early, patch often. Blue jeans are usually the first items of clothing to develop little holes in them. You can patch clothing by buying fabric patches and applying with heat-activated adhesive, sew a cute patch over a tiny hole, or just stitch it up with a little needle and thread.

Reinforce hems. Even cheap clothing can last a long time if you reinforce the hems with a simple stitch on a normal sewing machine. Skirts, pants, even underwear will wear longer and better when the hems are less flimsy. You don't have to be a talented tailor to hem a pair of pants -- anyone can do it with a little practice. In addition, once a shirt's wrists are looking ragged or your slacks are starting to wear at the hem, you can always take them in a bit. Ladies- shirts might be a little more difficult to pull this off, as hemlines rise and fall every season, but you can probably safely remove a half-inch from your favorite jeans without anyone noticing. This keeps hems nicer and overall appearance neater.

Think these ideas sound a better than maxing out the cards at weekly department store sales, or easier than digging out Mom's old Singer for an entire weekend laying out your fabric and pattern?  Agreed.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Three things to consider before telling a secret.

Come closer...closer...I've got a secret.  Well, that's not good, is it? Most of us were raised thinking secrets were bad things - but not always. Sometimes it’s a good idea to play your cards close to your chest. Here are three things to consider before spilling your guts, courtesy of MSN:

• Everyone doesn’t need to know everything. Dr. Patricia Farrell is a psychologist in New Jersey and author of How to Be Your Own Therapist. She says it’s healthy to share information – but make sure you do it with the appropriate people. So, if you had a fight with your spouse, you don’t have to give your boss the same details you give your best friend.
• Your past is not an open book - especially when it comes to former relationships. Dishing about old flames may feel like “bonding” to you, but it can make your new love feel insecure – and that’s particularly true for men. According to Julian Hertzog, who teaches psychology at William Woods University in Missouri, several studies show that the male ego is more fragile than most guys let on. So, the less said about the Ex, the better.
• When it comes to your kids and secrets, you don’t have to tell all, but never tell a lie. Michelle Borba is an educational psychologist and the author of Don’t Give Me That Attitude. She says that parents should keep secrets when it’s in their child’s best interest, and those interests change with age. So, a couple who’s divorcing would share more information with their teen than they would with a toddler. Borba also points out that keeping information to yourself is different from telling a lie. She suggests that if your kid asks a question that puts you on the spot, answer with something like, “I’m sorry. I don’t feel comfortable talking about that right now. Let’s get back to that later.” Then think of how you want to respond in an age-appropriate way.

If, still, the very idea of "secrets" makes you uncomfortable, that's okay! Another way to look at it really can become an issue of vocabulary.  Do you respect your own privacy? See? That's not a bad thing at all.  Glad you stopped by today.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

How to be spiritual every single day. And no, you don't have to go somewhere to do it.

Spirituality- it's not just for Sundays anymore. Have you thought about yours lately? Your level of spirituality can play an important role in each and every aspect of your life- your job, your job search, perhaps, your friends and family- in short, you.  Of course, our families move to the head of the list when it comes to safeguarding the most important relationships of your life.  While it's good to have strong relationships with all the people in your life, it's important to put your relationship with your "Source" at the top of your priority list, spiritual teacher Dr. Wayne Dyer, spiritual guru, and renowned author of "Excuses Begone! How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits", tells Oprah. Your Source can be God, the Tao, Divine mind, Krishna or whatever else you call your higher power—the key is that you make this bond your number one.

Dr. Dyer shares five practices to help you become more spiritual every day.

Get Quiet

Decide to reduce the noise level in your life. Learn to take time each and every day for

quiet contemplation. For example, when you're driving alone, turn off the constant chatter bombarding your inner world. Try to make meditation a daily practice, even if it's only a few minutes each day. As Swami Sivananda reminded his students, "Silence is the language of the gods." Ask in silence, listen in silence, and let silence be the jumping-off point for becoming one with the creative force of the universe.

Reenergize Your Surroundings

The Power of Intention works when you surround yourself with people who are on the same spiritual path as you. Remember that like attracts like, so you attract Source energy to you by being like it. Similarly, when you're continually in the company of low-energy, angry, depressed, shaming, hateful people, you'll probably find life a little more challenging. Choose to be in the company of those who hold a space for you to achieve the joy of maximizing, rather then minimizing, your highest human potential. Make your surroundings a temple of love and kindness. Pay attention to the music you listen to, the art you view, even the arrangement of your furniture and flowers—all of it!

Get Back to Nature

One of the most spiritual things you can do in your life is spend time in nature. When I am in nature, it feels like God has entered my consciousness, and a rapturous feeling of contentment overwhelms me. A setting that showcases nature's beauty is pure God in action: unspoiled, untended, alive in stillness and teeming with life. When you're there, you'll begin to see the miraculousness of every cubic inch of space. You'll feel the presence of an energy that you may have lost touch with in your daily life, and that energy is in you.

Practice Yoga

The meaning of the word yoga translates to "union." The ancient rishis who gave us yoga considered stretching, balancing and flexible exercise an opportunity to experience union with God. Such a union with the Source of being wasn't a painful experience, since God was viewed as natural, peaceful and gentle. Even as you stay in a space the size of a small mat, you attain the same kind of benefit as other, more punishing exercise regiments but without the pain or exertion. Yoga is a great workout for the entire body—particularly the joints, muscles and even internal organs—but especially for the mind.

Practice Mindfulness

Truly experience all things you do during the day. Try to escape the habitual feelings and thoughts you experience and stay in the present moment. Enjoy each of your actions fully.

See if just for a few minutes today, you can truly quiet yourself- from the stresses, anxieties, unanswered questions and problems, or even anger you may harbor deep inside. Quiet your mind, and find out if a small pocket of peace- to bring you closer to the spirituality each of us holds inside.  Have a blessed, and wonderful day.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Ladies- when you should fight off an attacker, and tips to keep you safe when you're driving

All motorists need to be careful on the highway, but female drivers of all ages, unfortunately, have to be doubly vigilant to avoid becoming victims of crimes while driving, including carjacking, sexual assault, robbery and worse. The following are some tips to help keep women safe while getting from here to there, from AOL Autos.

Got a beef with a roadhog?  Let it be.
"For road ragers, don't engage," says NYC cabbie Mellisa Plaut, author of "Hack", an account of her driving adventures. "Don't even look at someone who's trying to get your attention in an angry way. Just drive on, or turn. The worst thing you can do is get into a

fight. It never leads to anything good. Don't get your ego involved."

Pay attention.
Keep your sound system at a reasonable volume when driving in cities and neighborhoods, and don't space out or check your text messages at every stoplight. In fact, try to avoid getting distracted at all by your cell phone. Carjackers and robbers rely on the element of surprise, so if you're keeping eyes and ears alert to what's going on outside your vehicle, bad guys don't have a chance to sneak up on you.

Secure your car as you would your home.

You wouldn't leave your front door unlocked and your windows open at home, so get in the habit of securing your car the same way. Keep doors locked when you're driving, and windows raised. If anyone approaches your window asking for directions or money in slow or stopped traffic, take a quick glance around your vehicle to make sure you're not being distracted by one half of a team. Crack the window an inch or two instead of opening it all the way if you decide to speak to a stranger.

Be vigilant in parking lots- whether day or night.

When shopping, put your money away at the cash register, walk with purpose to your car and don't accept "help" from strangers. Have your keys out and be ready to open your vehicle and secure packages, get in the car, close and lock the door and drive away. "Don't approach your vehicle if a van or other large vehicle that wasn't there before is parked next to it," says Road and Travel's Jessica Howell. "Find a security guard to walk you to your car. If a security guard isn't available, look for a nearby couple and ask for an escort. Most people will be happy to lend a moment and ensure your safety."

Don't assume an unmarked car with a flashing light is a police officer.

If the car attempting to pull you over doesn't look like an official vehicle, keep driving, turn your inside light on and pull over only in a well-lit, populated area. Do not get out of your car, and angle the vehicle so you can drive away quickly if need be. Crack the window, ask to see the officer's ID and pay close attention to his clothes---are they worn? Do they match? If not, put up your window, drive away and call 911.

Now it’s time to focus on your safety for a minute, ladies, with some answers to some important questions when it comes to dealing with muggers and attackers. Hopefully you won’t need this information, but it’s better to be prepared with help from researchers at Health magazine.

• Are there times when a woman shouldn’t fight back? Lori Hartman Gervasi is the author of Fight Like a Girl– and Win: Defense Decisions for Women. She’s also a black belt self-defense expert trained in Karate. She says if someone’s grabbing your purse, or trying to take your car – let them have it. You risk your safety unnecessarily by challenging the person – these things are only material goods.
• So, when should you fight back? If an attacker is trying to get you into a car, Gervasi says fight back loudly and with every bit of strength and courage you have. The odds of surviving go way down once you’re in a car or a secluded location. Use whatever you have to fight back – your purse, shoes, rings on your fingers. If you’re kicking, go low and hard rather than trying for the groin. It’s hard to hit that region, and you might either lose your balance or give the attacker your foot to grab onto. When you make a fist to punch him, don’t tuck your thumb. Resting it just below the knuckles can inflict more damage. The bottom line is that most attackers are looking for an easy victim - and the more you fight back, the more likely it is that he’ll give up and run away.
• Should you carry pepper spray?

  

  Gervasi likes pepper spray because it provides a way to fight back without getting too close, but it’s useless if it’s buried in your purse. She recommends carrying your keys in one hand, pepper spray in the other – and your cell phone in an easy-to-reach pocket. That way, if a threatening person comes too close, you can quickly get your pepper spray into the “on” position, aim, and spray the attacker in the face. Then get a safe distance away and call the police.

I know it's heavy stuff to even think about it, but we all do, especially if you're a woman.  If you're a man, it's likely you have a wife, a sister, mother, or daughter you love- share this today!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Hackers are becoming stronger- keep yourself protected with stronger passwords

Keeping yourself protected online becomes a larger issue year by year, as hackers who want to steal your identity seem to stay ahead of the game in coming up with new ways to do it! Put that against a backdrop of economic uncertainly and losses everywhere, and it's a recipe, potentially, for your disaster!  Experts say the stronger your personal passwords you use for online accounts, the better.  Unfortunately, the same experts find that, sadly, most of our personal passwords are way too easy to crack. Here's a beautifully crafted set of guidelines to help you create beautifully crafted passwords, from PC World's Michael Scalisi:

When it comes to password strength, educating users is just as important as enforcing policies.

While security has never been more important than it is today, the fastest way for an IT professional to become the most despised person in the company is to start enforcing a strong password policy. A policy perceived as overbearing may cause people to write down their passwords on a sticky note near their computers, circumventing its very purpose. Your policy will be ineffective if users don't know how to create strong passwords that are easy to remember.

Left to our own devices, Scalisi says people will choose passwords that are simple for them to remember. They'll use their spouse's name, their dog's name, their favorite sports team or a recent vacation spot.

Scalisi also reports that occasionally while working on a user's computer, he'll need to log on as that person after a computer reboot. But maybe by that time, the user has wandered off, not wanting to hover over the IT guy. He says that, generally, he prefers not to know other people's passwords, so he doesn't usually ask. In this situation, he'll take a guess at the password, and has been right a surprising number of times- even dealing with the most powerful people in the company! It's easy for him to guess simply glancing around the offices and note what users obsessions are- what their interests are. Clearly, password policies are needed.

By using the following tips, people will be able to create easy-to-remember passwords that follow these typical requirements: at least eight characters long and with at least three of the following character types: uppercase letters, lowercase letters, numbers and special characters.

Substitute numbers for letters and vice versa.  (o instead of 0, 4 instead of A, 1 instead of L, E instead of 3)

• Substitute words for numbers (one, two, three...)
• Combine both of the above (0ne, thr33, flve)
• Use capitalization in random places (bLue, happY)
• Use special characters (!@#$%^&*(){}[]) to punctuate and separate words
• Create passwords out of words, numbers or phrases you'll remember
• Misspell words

Using these tips, you can create memorable passwords that will be nearly impossible to guess. Here are some examples of converting memorable information into a complex password

We'll start with some easy ones:

• Friday becomes frYday!
• Robert becomes #robERt#
• 867-5309 becomes 8siX753o9

More complex passwords:

• 19 Peach Place becomes: 0ne9peacHpl!
• I love Jill becomes: eYelov3Jill
• My dog Fritz becomes MeyedogfrltZ

While some of these examples look nearly indecipherable, it's also obvious that they're not difficult to memorize -- as long as you know the originating word, number or phrase and the basic methodology used to create it. By educating users on how to create strong passwords, the security of the company is stronger, and users will benefit additionally by have safer personal experiences with online banking and social networking.

Ready to bolster a few passwords now?  Gr8!  hAve a souper weakEnd!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Knock these bad work habits out of your office ballpark now!

Experts say that it takes 21 days to break a habit.  Workplace habits? They might be a little longer.  You've been spending an awful long time at the office building them up- now it's time to knock them down- for good. These

Here are eight work habits are annoying to everyone else, and they're likely damaging your career.  Recognize yourself in any of them?  Then it's time to break up with them now.  Here's some help from Anthony Balderrama, courtesy of MSN Careers:

1. The bad habit: Confusing casual with disrespectful.

Why it's bad: Feelings get hurt and reputations get damaged.

How to fix it: Ask yourself if what you say or do to your boss undermines his or her authority. Bosses aren't infallible, all-knowing creatures who can't be questioned. If you and your supervisor have a casual relationship filled with humor, you already know this. Nevertheless, he or she is your boss, and at the end of the day that's who makes the final decisions. When you begin to think of yourself as your boss's workplace equal, you cross a line that could damage your relationship.

Also, your boss probably has a boss, too. This means that calling him or her a nickname, or not being supportive of ideas in front of other people suggests you're the one running the show. It's important to remember that showing respect doesn't mean you need to be a "yes" man or woman who goes along with everything; it just means you should know what's appropriate for private conversations and what's appropriate for group settings.

2. The bad habit: Always doing the bare minimum.

Why it's bad: Anyone can just skate by, so you'll be easy to replace.

How to fix it: Not overextending yourself is admirable because not only do you preserve the quality of your work, but you also keep your sanity intact. Very few employers, however, want C+/B- workers. If you have a project due in one week and you're not particularly busy, moving at a snail's pace just because you can doesn't give a great impression.

Those clichés of going the extra mile and giving 110 percent are sometimes worthwhile. You're not likely to get promoted, get a raise or earn a glowing recommendation if your most notable accomplishment is just being there. Come up with new ideas, improve existing procedures and improve the quality of your work -- anything to assure that you're not just showing up for the paycheck.

3. The bad habit: Not budging from your job description.

Why it's bad: Obedience is great, but flexibility is better.

How to fix it: Job descriptions are rarely all-inclusive, so look at job postings with the understanding that your duties will shift over time. Ask anyone who's fortunate enough to be working today; this recession has redefined job titles in every industry. Yes, you were hired to do a specific job, but over time you could be asked to take on additional tasks or to transition into an entirely new role. Of course you don't have to, but realize that the job you were hired for might not be needed anymore, and asking you to adapt could be the company's way of keeping you around.

4. The bad habit: Forgetting what your job is.

Why it's bad: If you're not doing your job, then why are they paying you?

How to fix it: This is the flip side to the previously mentioned bad habit, and it's a fine line to walk. Being flexible to the company's needs is admirable, and others will notice. But if you spend more time doing things that distract you from getting relevant work done, you're just not doing your job. For example, if your company's e-mail policy is lax and you're allowed to receive personal messages, don't abuse it and spend more time planning tonight's party than doing your job. Hours on Facebook also don't count as work for most employees. Bet you knew that, huh?

5. The bad habit: Ignoring the chain of command.

Why it's bad: You make people look bad, and come off as a brat.

How to fix it: Go through the proper channels to address concerns. Let's be clear -- if you're dealing with a serious, legal issue and your boss can't be trusted, then by all means get help however possible. But if you're griping about some personality conflicts or just want things done your way, address them with your boss before escalating your issues. If it's an HR issue, speak with your rep, not with the head of HR. If you go to higher-ups about an issue, they'll immediately wonder why your boss couldn't handle it (thus making him or her look bad) and why you had to make such an ordeal about it.

6. The bad habit: Operating on your own clock.

Why it's bad: Not everyone can work around your schedule.

How to fix it: Be punctual and dependable. Although deadlines and meeting times can be bothersome, you're probably not the only person they affect. Therefore, your tardiness inconveniences other people. It also gives you the appearance of an unreliable person, and no one really wants to work with that kind of colleague.

7. The bad habit: Badmouthing your colleagues.

Why it's bad: You never know who's listening.

How to fix it: You already know gossip is a no-no, but spreading negative opinions about a co-worker is just as bad as spreading hearsay. First, negativity gets old. Second, your opinion can get back to the people about whom you're talking. It might even get back to the boss, who may disagree with you or at least disagree with your attitude and hold it against you. If you need to vent, do it away from work.

8. The bad habit: Flaunting your connections.

Why it's bad: It's annoying, and they're not guaranteed to last forever.

How to fix it: Don't make a big deal about your enviable inroads. Bragging is tacky, and that's what you're doing when you keep namedropping the CEO's name. Plus, the person you're talking about might not want the relationship to be widely discussed since it could make others think favoritism is at play. More importantly, the CEO could move on to a new job, and suddenly that sway you thought you had with people is gone.

Not an impossible task here, my well-intentioned friend, but if you think there's a chance you've been crossing a few of these lines...you're probably right to think a few changes in habit might be the way to go.  Good luck-

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.