The John Tesh Blog

What's the difference between getting further into debt, and living a life of wealth? Not as much as you might think.

Jean Chatzky is one woman who believes, even in the toughest economic times (as all of us are experiencing; some more than others) that anyone can prosper…if they possess key traits and abilities that will set them apart. She calls these traits, and her new book, The Difference, and describes how you can go from the person who lives paycheck to paycheck to the person who lives in comfort.

Do you have The Difference? And, if not—how can you get it? Jean shares the eight things that matter most to help you become financially free.

Happiness and Optimism

Some people believe money leads to happiness. Not true. Once you're living comfortably, more money doesn't buy more happiness. The reverse, however, is true: Happiness leads to money. And success. Likewise, so does optimism. Both empower you to solve problems, create new ideas, take long-range consequences into consideration and come back to try again if you miss the first time.

Resilience

People who have moved from a bad financial situation into comfort or wealth have resilience. They can overcome—on the job, in their personal lives, with their finances. They don't deny the bad things that happen, but they're able to turn their focus to things over which they have control with the belief that they have the ability to effect change. The good news is you don't have to be born with resilience—you can learn it by controlling the things you can control and letting go of the others.

Connectedness 

Ever heard of social capital? It's the asset created when relationships between people change in ways that lead to action, generally for good. It's an important component of The Difference, and the wealthy and financially comfortable not only have more of it than people living paycheck to paycheck, they know how to use it. They cast a wider net, socializing with neighbors, co-workers, people who can help them advance financially or in their careers. To get your share of social capital, you have to make time for people and put yourself forward as a leader.

Passion

This is a key element that moves people from a life of financial struggle to one of financial success. The wealthy, simply put, want it more than the rest of that. Some want it in the form of money, but most are quite passionate about the careers they choose to pursue. And, at a time where doing what you love may not seem possible, it's important to know you can learn to love what you're doing- right here, and right now.

Intuition

Over the years, your brain has scored up scads of patterns, information that tells you that if one thing happens, something else is likely to follow. We feel these signals in our gut—and we call them hunches. They are really our intuition, a sixth sense that is more developed in the wealthy than in anyone else. You can learn to bring yours forward by adopting strategies like giving your intuition a little room to breathe: Jean herself says she has the best moments of "enlightenment" when she's not searching for them.

Make savings your new, "got to" habit

The wealthy people in Chatzky's study certainly have the funds to be crazy spenders, but most aren't. Both wealthy and financially comfortable individuals say that saving more money has been an "absolutely essential" financial goal as an adult.

Invest in stocks

Jean did the research for The Difference when housing prices were cratering and the markets were falling out of the sky. Yet, one lesson emerged again and again: The wealthy understand the need to take risks in the market—in good times and in bad—in order to make their money work as hard as they do.

Gratitude

The Karma Kickback. The people who get rich—and stay rich—are not just grateful. They practice gratitude by giving back to their communities, to organizations they believe in and the people they care about. (Your place of worship may call it 'tithing.') Even if you are thinking of something you view as mundane—like your job—when you think about it as a gift, you focus on what life might be if you didn't have it.

Can you see The Difference in your life today? Tomorrow? As long as you see it, you'll live it.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

7 steps to take this month in your job search

Maybe it's a little extra income for the holidays you're looking for, or maybe you fell prey to an economic driven layoff from your old job. It might be a case of kids well on their own way, and you feel ready, at last, to re-enter the workforce. No matter where your job  search falls right now, though- here is a new month, full of possibilities, and 7 specific things you can do this month to get yourself back on your feet, from Jean Chatsky, career and money expert for Oprah.com.

Ask anyone with a great job how they got where they are, and you'll probably hear that they got very lucky. But successful job hunters make their own luck with hard work and lots of preparation. You can use the strategies below to make sure you've got the essential ingredients for a fruitful job search—a killer résumé and sharp interviewing skills. Looking to help your kids find a good summer job? We've got some advice for that, too, and now's the time to prepare for the end of the school year.

Create a Killer Résumé
Your résumé is your chance to make a great first impression. That single piece of paper (or, these days, that one e-mail attachment) will determine whether or not you get an interview. Dust off an old copy and add any new experience or skills that you've acquired since you last looked for a job. If you've been out of the workforce, consider adding any volunteer work you've done or classes you've taken that have helped you hone in on an existing skill or learn a new one.

Share a copy of your updated résumé with your friends and family, and get their input on how you can make it sharper and more compelling. Pay special attention to the questions they members ask. If you find you need to explain or amplify a certain item, it may mean it isn't as clearly written as it could be.

Practice Interviewing
You may think that the best interviewees think quickly on their feet and come up with smart, insightful answers (and they do), but for most of us, interviewing is like playing a musical instrument—it takes plenty of practice. Setting up informational interviews with former colleagues, acquaintances and friends of friends in industries you're interested in is a great way to polish your interviewing skills. So is role playing with friends.

Before you head into an interview, tell your family who you'll be interviewing with and what you know about them and the company they works for. Have members take turns asking you questions they think your potential new boss will have on their list. After you answer, ask for feedback on what you could have done better. By the time you get through that exercise, the actual interview will be a piece of cake!

Susan Strayer, a career coach and author of The Right Job, Right Now, suggests job hunters create an inventory of stories that they can rely on during an interview. Think of several successful projects you've completed, times you've taken an important role in your employer's success and praises you've received from bosses or clients, and be ready to briefly retell those experiences at the appropriate moment.

Help Your Child Get a Summer Job
If you have a high school or college-age child who's looking for summer work, he or she will need a sharp résumé and good interviewing skills. To help them find leads for great summer jobs, don't forget your local network of family members, friends and teachers, says Randall Hansen, founder of Quintcareers.com, a website for young job seekers. In addition, have  your child check out websites such as CoolWorks.com, SummerJobs.com and  ResortJobs.com, all of which list lots of temporary positions at resorts and summer camps throughout the country.

Create a Network
Think of your friends as an instant job-hunting network that can provide ideas, advice and contacts you need. Then, branch out to family and former colleagues, says Robin Ryan. Tell everyone you know you're on the hunt and ask them for names of acquaintances that might be able to help you. Go on as many informational interviews as you can possibly manage. True, there may be no openings, but you'll have made an in for when a position is available. The person you're interviewing with may very well know others in their industry that you should also talk to. Plus, you'll brush up your interviewing skills.

Target Your Search
Although it's tempting to answer dozens of want ads and send your résumé to everyone you know, the quality of your applications, not the quantity, is what will get you results, says Robin Ryan. "You can spend 20 or 25 hours a week looking for a job—after that you're wasting your time," she adds.

Determine the industries and businesses you're most interested in (and best qualified for) ahead of time and concentrate on those contacts and openings first. Remember, targeting also means adding a personal touch. Always send a well-tailored cover letter with your résumé—no form letters or mass mailings.

Use the Internet Wisely
Sites like Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com can give you a great sense of what types of openings are available and what kind of salary range you can expect. And, it certainly can't hurt to answer ads that appeal to you. But answering blind ads shouldn't be the bulk of your search, says Susan Strayer. So often you hear nothing back. Posting your résumé on these sites can also be a waste of time. Better to look for openings on the websites of companies and industry associations that you're interested in.

Be Patient

It generally takes three to six months for people to find a job, says Robin Ryan. The wait can be frustrating, but the process gives you a chance to really evaluate what kind of job is right for you. Devote yourself to this process as though it is your full time job; find a way to network (which might mean finding a way to volunteer your way into networking, temporarily); rest, and treat yourself to some daily exercise (since you do have, for the time being- the time to give to it.

And- have a wonderful Monday; welcome to November!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Trick your teen? The treat you'll find is better communication.

It’s a fact: teens trick their parents from time to time. Experts say it’s normal for teens to stretch rules, take risks and try out some trickery (just think back to when you were a teen- go ahead- breathe that sigh of relief that you came out all right!) But there are some key things parents can do to keep their young tricksters safe and healthy. With Halloween around the corner, why not roll up your sleeves and do some productive tricking — and treating — of your own?

Here are 10 ways parents can reduce teen mischief and encourage a healthy relationship with their teen on Halloween and beyond from The Partnership for a Drug-Free America.

1. Trick your teen into talking.

Make time to talk with your teen every day, so it becomes routine. That way when you have an important topic to discuss, it will be more comfortable and flow more naturally. Chat it up regularly — about celebrities, classmates, the news or anything to help maintain open lines of communication.

Neil I. Bernstein, Ph.D., adolescent psychologist and author, says “If you’re thoughtful and open and expressive, and you’ve developed good communication with your kids all along, it’s going to be an easier ride.”

2. Trick them with your digital savvy.

Bone up on the latest technology and you’ll gain a better understanding of your teen’s  world. Learn to use online social networks like Facebook and MySpace and status update services like Twitter. Texting your teen- except when you know they're driving- is a great non-confrontational way to check in, show your support and stay connected.

Surveys from Kelton Research show that more than half of teens who text message think it has improved their relationship with their parents, and 51 percent of parents who text with their teens agree that they communicate more often.

3. Trick them into taking healthy risks.

It’s natural for teens to want to take risks: Teen brains and bodies are bursting with energy and idealism — even if it doesn't always show. Urge your teen to take healthy risks; He may develop some valuable life skills in the process. First learn what your teen finds exciting and daring and then help him focus on some healthy options. Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, school consultant and author who would like to see every teen out in the wilderness, out at a summer camp, out on a ropes course, doing something that’s scarier than what he might have chosen to do himself, which Thompson believes gives teens a big boost in self-respect.  "Even if he has a safety line on him, the fact that he’s out on a rope with a 40-foot drop or something, he’s scared, and he’s pushed. And I do think that takes up some of teenagers’ risk-taking energy.”

4. Trick them into telling you about their day.

“How was your day?” “Fine.” Sound familiar? To get your teen to open up to you, try asking specific, open-ended conversation-starters like these:
• Did any of your classmates do anything funny?
• Tell me about what you read in class.
• Do you think math [or any subject] is too easy or too hard?
• What’s the biggest difference between this year and last year?
• Who did you sit with at lunch?
• Can you show me something you learned (or did) today? 

5. Trick your teen into staying out of trouble.

Encourage your teen to join a club, play a sport or participate in community service — this will give her something structured to do afterschool as well as a wider circle of friends. There may be lots of healthy (and cheap!) opportunities right in your community like trying out for a sports team or auditioning for a play. Try getting ideas at the library, her school, or your place of worship. Marybeth Hicks, a motivational speaker and parenting author, writes, “Kids in middle school can try a lot of new sports and activities and drama and music and lots of things that keep them very busy. A tired middle schooler is a low-risk middle schooler — so we want them to be busy and involved. And as we go along with them in those activities and participate in an appropriate way, they know we’re right with them and they know that they’re safe.”

6. Trick them into following your rules.

Rules don’t alienate kids. Rules about what’s acceptable — from obeying curfews to calling in to tell you where they are — make children feel loved and secure. Explain that you set limits only because you care and not because you don’t trust her. Make sure your teen knows your rules, and understands the consequences of breaking the rules. If she clearly sees the consequences, and views them as fair, she is more apt to follow the rules.

7. Trick them into telling you the truth.

Always be honest with your teen, even when it comes to answering difficult questions. If your teen senses your genuine honesty, he will likely follow your example. Explain to your teen know that honesty is a highly-respected trait, one that requires courage and  independent thought. Tell him that you value his honesty and are willing to listen without making judgments. “Use an open-ended question that is not accusatory but alludes to a possible behavior such as ‘Anything interesting happen at the party last night?’”, advises Vanessa Van Petten, an author and teen expert.

8. Trick them by offering a safety plan.

Imagine you’re a teen and you’ve just done something really dumb like get drunk at a friend’s house. Who are the last people on earth you’d want to find out? Your parents, right? A safety plan gets your teen past that fear by letting him know that you care more about him than about what he does. Even if you think he already knows how you feel,
spell it out for him. Then lay out your plan. Here’s one way to do it:
“Nothing in the world is more important to me than keeping you healthy and safe. That’s one reason I don’t want you to drink or do drugs. But if you ever find yourself in a bad situation- like, you get drunk at a party, or the person who’s supposed to drive you home does- I want you to call me. I don’t care what time it is. I’ll come to pick you up and I won’t ask any questions until the next day. Will you promise to do that for me?”

9. Trick them into feeling good about themselves.

Give your teen lots of praise and positive feedback. Teens need to hear the “good stuff” just like the rest of us. (And they’ll eat up the extra attention, too.) They need to know you can still see beyond the things they do wrong from time to time. Catch them being good and always reward positive, responsible, mature behavior. Richard Catalano, Ph.D., Professor and Director of the Social Development Research Group at The University of
Washington’s School of Social Work, says, “After your teen finishes a task, or at least shows that he really tried, make sure you recognize his effort. That recognition really provides the motivation for kids to continue.”

10. Treat your teen with love and support.

It’s very important that teens feels supported at all times by their parent. Be sure to let your child know that he or she can always count on you and come to you for guidance.
• Reassure your child that she can confide in or seek advice from you when she’s stressed or dealing with a personal issue.
• As frustrated as you may feel sometimes (let’s face it, teens know how to push our buttons), try to speak from a place of love, caring and concern — and express these feelings to your teen.
• Remind your teen that the reason you’re always talking with her and asking questions is because you love her and care about her and want her to be healthy and successful.
• Provide your teen with lots of hugs and kisses- even at the risk of unbelievable embarrassment to them as they duck under your arm to get away!

Think these are some tricks you can take on? Seems like one sweet treat to reach, if you do!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Finding the right job for you

Are you telling yourself that a job just doesn't exist for you right now- you've been trying, for crying out loud, and nothing. Zip. But deep down inside, you know you have to keep  trying to find work, right? You, my employment seeking friend, may be suffering from many serious blows to your professional esteem. Jean Chatzky is a regular contributor to O Magazine, and introduces some pretty probing questions to ask yourself if you're struggling to land a job that's right for your life. Use the questions to get insights into your fears and anxieties about job hunting so you can help yourself get over them.

1. How do you feel about job hunting? Do you love the thrill of the hunt, or do you simply dread the whole idea?

2. How did you feel in the past when you didn't get a job you really wanted? How did you feel when you turned down a job offer? (Jean Chatzky's take: The rejection involved in a job hunt can be devastating. And sometimes getting a job offer that's not right for you and having the courage to turn it down can be just as excruciating. Try not to let past experiences cloud your outlook for the future. That was then and this is a whole new you.)

3. If you're not currently employed, how long have you been out of the workforce? What skills and talents can you bring to your search from the non-work activities you've been doing?

4. What's your definition of a dream job? (For Jean, she says it's a position that pushes her to stretch to be her best while still offering enough flexibility to spend time with her kids. She fully acknowledges that sounds impossible! But Chatzky challenges that you'll never know what you can get unless you ask. When she was hired for a staff position on a large personal finance magazine, her kids were young and there was no way she could stick around the office for late-night closes. But her bosses set her up with a computer at home so she could close pages after the kids went to bed- a deal Chatzky believes she never would have gotten if she hadn't asked.)

5. What skills do you have to offer? What weaknesses do you have to work on?

6. Have you ever been fired? How will that experience affect this job search?

7. What's your biggest fear/anxiety about re-entering the workforce/getting a new job? What strategies can you use to overcome these fears?

9. What type of new job will best help you achieve your financial goals?

10. Who might be able to help you with your search? What's the best way for you to expand your job-hunting network? 

Ask, answer, and be honest...if only with yourself. Coming to terms with some issues at work in your heart and mind could be the first big break you need...great job, next.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Keep your job search UP, in an economy that's DOWN.

Remember back when you were still in school? Your career? Well, easy enough- there's a job just about anywhere you looked! And if, for whatever reason, you didn't like the job; they didn't like you...whatever (say, that can be a really annoying word)- there's always another one around the corner, right? Hmm...not so much the case in the last couple of years, is it?

If you're searching for a job when the economy is down, understand that you need to boost your job-hunting skills, author Richard Bolles says. "Jobs do open up; jobs do fall vacant—maybe not in your former specialty, maybe not even in your geographical area, but nonetheless there are jobs out there, even during hard times," he says. "It just takes greater job-hunting skills to find them."

Richard, author of What Color Is Your Parachute? 2009: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers, shares advice on how to search for a job and have a good interview when economic times are tough.

To develop better job-hunting skills, start by assuming that the task of finding a new job is yours, Richard says. "You are in charge," he says. "Don't wait for the government—or anyone else—to come and save you."

Have the willingness to work hard at your job hunt. "Don't just give it 'a lick and a promise' and then give up," Richard says. "Working hard means putting in time—lots of time. This also means using more than one job-hunting method to find those jobs that are out there."

Take the time to do an inventory on yourself, Richard says. Make a list of what you have to offer to the marketplace. If you think you know yourself so well that you don't need to do this kind of homework on yourself, think again, he says.

Update your knowledge. "Go beyond what you learned about the job hunt back in high school or, worse, out 'on the street,'" Richard says. "The job hunt is one of the most studied human activities there is. You've just got to familiarize yourself with that research. The life you save will be your own."

Research the specific position. If you do this before you go on the interview, you'll be able to talk about why the job interests you, Richard says. Also, ask about what kinds of skills the job demands. Try to talk about how you have those skills and experience. "In the old days, it was sufficient for you just to claim certain skills; now, in what are called 'behavioral interviews,' employers want you to give evidence," Richard says. "You should do this in the form of a story, or stories, which have the framework: problem, action, results."

Gauge how well the interview is going. You can tell if an interview is going well by watching the time sequence of the employer's questions, Richard says. If the interviewer's questions stay rooted in the past, like "Tell me what you've done," then things have not gone well, he says. If the questions end up being mostly rooted in the present, for example, "What are your favorite hobbies," things are going better, Richard says. Only when they end up being firmly rooted in the future, like, "Where do you see yourself five years from now?" can you assume the interview is going very well, he says.

End the interview appropriately. If you decide you're definitely interested in the job and the interview has gone well, Richard says to end the interview by asking, "Based on all that we've talked about, can you offer me this job?" "The worst they can say is 'No' or 'Not yet,'" he says. "But it's amazing how often that closing question of yours turns the interviewer from 'I'll call you next week' to 'Yes, I do want to offer it to you—when could you start?'"

So when can you start...with a refreshed and positive look toward the job you want? Today? Absolutely. Enjoy your weekend-

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Saying yes to back-to-school; no to impulsive back-to-school overspending

It's hard to say no- generally speaking, as parents, we don't want to say no.  You've probably been there- "Everyone has those jeans!" "I'll look stupid with this old phone!"  They wear us down!  But to the rescue- the support you need for staying your ground- here's some great "putting have to's in front of want to's" advice from makinglifebetter.com's Lian Dolan:

Before you hit the stores

Don’t make it about money; make it about responsibility. Think about it: even if you had all the money in the world, would you buy your daughter $250 jeans?  Probably not. Teach your children that the goal is to purchase what they really need, not what they simply want. Spending wisely and eliminating wasteful purchases is an earth-friendly, family-friendly policy. Use this shopping experience to establish good, lifelong financial habits. And don’t forget: be a role model yourself.

“Shop” at home first. Dig through desk drawers and closets, and you’ll probably discover half the items on your list: colored pencils, crayons, forgotten shorts, and books from older siblings. Throw last year’s backpack in the washer, add some cool patches from your summer travels, and voilá, new backpack! Money saved is money earned. The more you find at home, the more money you’ll get to spend on new items.

Delay, delay, delay. Wait a month to buy those gotta-have-it purchases, and the desire might just disappear. Ask your kids: Can you get one more season out of those cleats? Do you need the new sweater today when you won’t be able to wear it for months? How about that new phone for your birthday? Buy the minimum now and supplement later, if needed.

Checkout Lane Tactics

Stick with your budget. Obvious, but not always easy! Set a reasonable budget for the must-have purchases. For teens and older tweens, this may mean handing over a set amount of money for clothes or new electronics and letting them choose how to spend it. One designer item or several sale items?  Resale shop or department store? Give them the purchasing power, and let them live with their choices.  Look at it as providing an opportunity for natural consequences that don't really have the power to do any damage to your child, even if it doesn't take away his disappointment.  Expect more from your son or daughter!  You’ll be surprised at the thrift when it’s their money, or the ability to make better choices the next time around.

No negotiations. Once the budget is firm, no wheeling and dealing.  This, my sometimes weak-willed friend (we all are at times!) means that now's the time to remain firm. If you tend to cave, try a cash-only policy when shopping. That would be much better than simply promoting to your child that whining will eventually get them their own way.  And if the kids try to work that magic they have, that they’ll pay half for more expensive items, don’t agree unless they have the money on hand. No IOUs!

I do believe this:  you'll all be better off for setting limits, and sticking to them...hard as it may be to do when you son just has to have the turbo-charged backpack that doubles as an iPod charger.  Cool.

Summer vacation- over already? Help your kids survive "back to school"!

Yep, it's summer, and as twisted as it sounds, that SHOULD mean back-to-school prep for parents to avoid the inevitable nervous breakdown that comes with waiting until the last minute on absolutely everything. Let's learn more from MSNBC's Kids and Parenting:

Make a well-visit appointment with your child's pediatrician if summer camp paperwork didn't require an up-to-date health and immunization record and one is needed for school. Schedule eye exams and dental appointments. Everybody's trying for the same appointment times, so planning ahead pays off. Bring along necessary forms for the doctor's signature.

Athletics programs may require a physical on a short cycle, say only six months old, and many doctors will do a special "sports physical" covering less ground if it's not time for an annual, Vozza said.

If your child is entering a new school, you may still be recovering from the admissions and registration process, but you need to watch your pile of summer mail for any back-to-school correspondence from the PTA or teachers. Also, make sure you've notified the people you've listed as emergency contacts.

Sure, for-ever it's been suits and beach covers, but now you've got to make your kids focus on school clothes.  If they need to sign off on fall wear, shopping early makes sense for the best selection and helps to avoid sizes selling out.

Clean out your child's closets before you shop for back to school, or the old and beat up will be buried under the new and pristine. Begin sorting through closets before school begins, or soon after, and remember that the weather is usually still warm for a few weeks after classes start, Vozza said.

Have you registered your child for fall sports and made enough copies of required documents to cover sports, school and after-school obligations? Have you signed up for the onsite afterschool program?

Buy new cleats, sports uniforms, helmets, karate, ballet or gymnastics clothes, ice skates, inline skates or other equipment they've outgrown or might need, like tennis rackets. Does anything need to be monogrammed?

Confirm the sitter if that's your after-school childcare plan. Confirm daycare and ask for a list of required items. Confirm bus routes. Angela Gifford at Mom4Life.com also suggests making carpool connections, something that shouldn't wait until the last minute if you're depending on sharing pickup and drop-off responsibilities with other families.

Any idea how to outfit a dorm room these days? CollegeView.com urges a check of the school's Web site for what's not allowed before shopping ensues (toasters, air conditioners and space heaters are often prohibited). Download the school's checklist and make contact with roommates to divide up common appliances and decor, like rugs and coffee makers.

Some useful items that might fly under your radar because you're preoccupied with pricey computers and other high-tech gear: No stain, good-stick tak to hang posters, closet extenders like hanging shoe and sweater storage, reusable shopping bags, a hand vacuum, sewing kit, collapsible hamper, first aid kit, small tool kit, strong magnetic clips, clothesline or drying rack.

Has your new college kid ever cleaned the bathroom? This might be a good time to introduce him to the cleaning supplies aisle. Does he know how to do laundry? Hit the bank for a few rolls of quarters if that's what school machines take.

On the computer front, consider signing him up for an offline data storage service for easy and safe backup as he takes on more work in college.

The first things to go out the window as soon as Summer vaca hits are any hint of a sleep schedule and getting going early in the morning. While there's no need to maintain those regimens over summer, rebuilding them in the fall takes time.

Two or three weeks before school begins, start nibbling away at bedtimes and your back-to-school, out-the-door drills.

"Make a list for kids to follow and tape it to their bedroom doors, so they know exactly what they have to do without you asking," Vozza said. "Things like brush your teeth, make your bed."

The list can include lots of other things that don't apply to the laid-back summer: Putting shoes and backpacks by the door, picking clothes out the night before.

And...ready or not- you're off- everyone in the family!  Next week- we'll tackle the sometimes predictable headaches and tummy aches early in a school year masking the real culprits:  fear and nervousness. 

Have a great weekend-

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

10 skills you would have learned in home ec (if you'd been paying attention!)

How hard can it be to sew on a button or iron a shirt? Not that hard, actually. But in fairly recent years, many of us have begun outsourcing these and other basic life tasks to others. With cash flowing freely, we didn't feel the need to fend for ourselves.

But these days, many of us are relearning those skills taught in high school home economics- things so basic it sounds a little silly, really- like how to fold clothes, cook dinner and clean.

Given our newfound interest in self-reliance, what basic knowledge should every adult have (that our home-ec teachers tried to teach us back a ways?)  Guess what?  MSN Money gathered a group of them to offer a short list of things we should all know how to do when we grow up. And it turns out they now teach kids about more than cooking and ironing.

Here's what they came up with:

1. Make minor sewing repairs or alterations
No, you don't need to sew your own suits or make decorative throw pillows. But for only $2, you can buy a sewing kit and be your own tailor- sewing on buttons, mending rips and hemming pants (a sewing machine does this particular job a little better, but it's not a necessity).

Knowing how to add an extra hook to a pair of pants or to correct a gap in a blouse can make them fit better, so you'll wear them more. Learn how by watching video at sites like eHow.

Cost of a sewing kit: $2

Cost to replace buttons on a shirt: $6

Professional hemming: $9-$12

2. Craft a household budget and balance a checkbook
Many of us fail to reconcile our bank statements -- even though software like Quicken and free budgeting sites like Mint.com make it a snap. Even fewer of us bother to save our debit card receipts and record those transactions.

But that's something Tanya Wright of Pitman High School in Turlock, Calif., teaches her students in a "Life Management" course, as a way to live within your means and guard against fraud.

Looking for an easy way to budget? Read Liz Pulliam Weston's "10 ways to simplify your financial life."

Cost savings: Around $27 per overdraft charge.

3. Make soup
When the going gets tough, the tough go back in the kitchen. Certainly everyone should be able to read a recipe and know a teaspoon from a tablespoon. If you don't, head to your library and pick up a classic like "Joy of Cooking." But every home cook should also have a repertoire of dishes that deliver the biggest economic bang for the buck.

Soups and one-dish meals -- the staples of home-ec cooking -- let you do more with less. One key is using less meat and more vegetables, plus rice or pasta, to stretch the meal.

The basis of most soups is a simple "mirapois," a fancy term for a 2-1-1 combination of onions, carrots and celery. Add stock, garlic, beans, veggies or meat and you've got a meal, says Sandi Coulter, home-ec teacher at San Juan High School in Citrus Heights, Calif.

Cost of a big pot of lentil vegetable soup and a loaf of French bread: 75 cents/serving.

Cost of a can of Progresso Lentil: $1.79/serving.

4. Comparison shop at the grocery store
Getting a good buy at the grocery store or warehouse club depends on your ability to discern the true deal, rather than leap at the lowest price. You'd probably be surprised at how much you can save just by taking the time to look at the per-unit price between a store brand and the most definitely more expensive name brand product- could be as much as a 20% difference!

Cost savings by comparison shopping: hundreds of dollars a year- a huge difference over a lifetime.

5. Take care of your own wardrobe
This means following the care instructions on your clothes -- yes, read the label -- and doing your own fluff and fold, rather than paying someone else to do it.

Learn how to iron a shirt, shine your shoes and treat spots on shirts and ties. These rudimentary skills will extend the life of your clothes and spare your clothing budget.

Cost to iron a shirt: $0.

Cost of getting a shirt pressed at the dry cleaner: $2 to $2.50.

6. Clean your house with vinegar and baking soda
You don't need a lot of different (and expensive) cleaners to clean and sanitize your house. These two dirt-cheap ingredients will do the trick for most surfaces.

"You can do mirrors with the white vinegar, and the baking soda is great for anything porous," says teacher Coulter. Indeed, baking soda is a great scrub for your tub or your body, our experts said.

If you don't like the smell of vinegar, just add a little lemon juice. That and a little fragrance are probably what you are paying for if you buy those expensive "green" cleaners.

Cost of a 67-ounce refill of Windex cleaner: $7.49.

Cost of a 64-ounce jug of Safeway vinegar: $2.48.

7. Bake in the microwave
Transferring some of your cooking and baking to the microwave can cut your utility costs and your time in the kitchen. Wright teaches her students how to microwave a whole chicken in a casserole dish and even bake cakes in the microwave. The cakes don't brown as much, but who can tell under all that frosting?

Cost to bake a cake in the microwave, 12 minutes: 3 cents.

Cost to bake it in an electric oven, 30 minutes plus preheating: 12 cents.

Value of a cool kitchen in the summer: oh, that's priceless.

8. Apply paint
When your walls get marked up, and your furniture has moved beyond "shabby chic" to skid row junk, you should be able to do something about it yourself. A good sanding and a bright coat of paint can wring a few more years out of that old dresser or chair and help you salvage thrift-store finds.

Cost of used dresser, knobs and paint: $80-$125.

Pottery Barn dresser: $899.

9. Replace filters and screens in your house
Replacing the filters in your air conditioner and furnace is routine maintenance you shouldn't pay someone else to do, Coulter teaches.

Buying filters and window screens at your local Home Depot or Lowe's is cheap. Buying them with a markup from a handyman or service guy, and paying for labor, is for suckers.

Cost of an air conditioning filter: $17.

Cost of a service visit to change your filter: $125.

10.  Put together a resume
Sure, a friend could probably help you -- if you can get them to make the time for it. But with so much free advice and so many samples on the Web, even high school students can come up with a way to make their babysitting jobs, team sports and volunteering sound like selling points.

"We teach our students how to put together a portfolio and résumé and practice job interviews," Wright says. "It gets them thinking about the kinds of things they can do and put on their résumé" in the years ahead.

If you never learned, you might take a look to start at MSN Careers' Résumé Center.

Cost to put together your own résumé: $0.

Cost of a professional résumé service: $200.

So if you spent a great deal of home ec class time zzzzzzing, don't worry.  As with most things in life, guess what?  It's not too late to learn!  Have a great start to your week!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Maybe you're not their parent, but you can still play a vital role in a young adult's life choices

I hope you had a terrific weekend of observing our July 4th holiday.  Was yours a weekend of family time?  It's great to see generations from young to the "not so young" of us- all together for fun and celebration!  Special occasions provide a built in time to connect with the young children and young adults in your life, but you carry such a powerful influence beyond a weekend celebration!  Even if you’re not a parent, the role you can play in a child's life is incredibly significant! Grandparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings, mentors and coaches can all help guide a child toward healthy choices at every stage of life. We're turning to Time to Talk for a new perspective on making a difference for a new generation.

For younger children, you can reinforce messages about eating healthy and staying active. And, as kids get older, some of the most difficult times they'll face come at them in this stage of their development, when it comes to peer pressures, and wanting to fit in.  Your advice can help steer them toward positive decisions when they’re up against tough choices.

Wondering how you can build a better relationship with the child in your life? Put the following tips to work — and enjoy the benefits for years to come.

Grandparents

You have a conversational leg up on most people in your grandchild’s life; you have the inside scoop on what his parents were like as kids! Help take the pressure to be perfect off of kids by telling them stories of their own parents’ shortcomings when they were younger. The fact that Dad didn’t make the varsity soccer team but discovered he loved to draw soon after can be a big boost to your grandchild’s own self-esteem.

Aunts and Uncles

As kids get older, they tend to think that their aunts and uncles are somehow just a bit cooler than their parents. After all, they usually get to stay up past bedtime at your house, and the no-soda rule? It’s out the window. The cool factor you possess can help your niece or nephew feel comfortable opening up to you. Let your niece know that unless you think she’s in danger, the things she talks to you about will stay just between the two of you. The best way to find out if something is bothering a tween or teen? “Keep it simple,” says family therapist Dr. Jane Greer. An easy conversation starter: “You don’t seem like yourself lately. Things going okay?”

Coaches and Mentors

Since coaches and mentors typically get to know kids in performance-related activities, from sports to the school newspaper to debate team, they can notice changes in behavior and motivation. Use those changes as an opportunity to talk to the child you know and find out what’s going on in his or her life. If a child seems off his game or is just acting out of sorts, pull him aside and ask questions like “What’s going on today?” or “How come you’re not paying attention?” suggests Bob Caruso, CFO of the Partnership for a Drug-Free America and a basketball coach for teens. If you’re not satisfied with the answer or your concerns continue, call the primary caregivers to see if they too have noticed any changes in their child.

From a Distance: out-of-town relatives

You may not get to see your niece, nephew or grandchild every day, but for long-distance relatives, the conversational opportunities still abound. From the time kids are small, ask to speak to them on the phone, and as they grow, let them know they can always call you to talk. Once the child has an email address, write to him/her regularly with questions about his or her life. A simple “How was school today?” or “I love when you tell me stories about things you do with your friends” shows your young relative that you want to know what’s going on in his or her life. And don’t forget: kids of all ages love to get mail—especially if they’re too young for an email account. Let them know you’re thinking about them on a regular basis by sending a note their way that says, “Have a happy week,” “I’m proud of you!” or simply, “I’m thinking about you.”

If You’re Worried

Worried about the child in your life? Then it’s important that you talk to him, says Dr. Greer. “If you are concerned that there is something going on, be very genuine and very open and say, ‘Hey, how are you doing? Is everything okay? You seem a little not yourself. You seem a little low energy. Anything we can talk about?’ And then you might throw out, ‘How are things going with your friends?’ or ‘How are things going on the dating scene?’ depending on how much that niece or nephew has already shared with you.”

“If the child is not ready to talk,” says Greer, “continue by saying, ‘Okay, I’m just going to check in and I want you to know that I’m here.’ And then take the responsibility to to send the emails, make the cell phone calls, - and yes, it might be time for you to learn how to text if you don't yet know!  Use the communication tools that older children and teens do.  Stop by for visits so that she not only hears that you’re there for her but really feels that you’re there for her and sees it.”

When it comes to making these invaluable connections, today is the day- not tomorrow; not next month.  Sure, you might be put off with a teenager's fantastic knack for avoidance, but don't give up.  Even the young person, who isn't making direct eye contact with you, is still hearing your words, and your message has so much chance to take hold.

Why kids turn to drinking, smoking, and other drugs

Yesterday, I wanted to share with you how important it is for you, as a parent, to understand just how important your influence over your kids' choices can be, because too many parents (44%!) think that the media and peers have greater power over the choices teens make when it comes to drinking, smoking and other drug use.

When you do have those so important words with your kids, maybe it would be helpful to understand the reasons behind why some teens do turn to these dangerous behaviors.  I think there is some great insight for parents at Know!.  Here are the top five reasons teens and pre-teens give for using alcohol, tobacco and other drugs:

Reason 1
To Feel Grown Up

Children like to imitate adults. And in our culture, kids are pushed hard to act like grown-ups. However, a child can understand and accept that there are differences between what adults may do legally and what is appropriate and legal for children.

Keep in mind that as parents, part of our job requires letting our children grow up. Some of the ways children behave are part of a natural and healthy separation, which generally starts between ages 11-13. The harder we hold on and pull in the reins, the more they may want us to let go. Gradually giving children more independence, while still providing loving guidance, can actually help deter them from using alcohol, tobacco and other drugs, simply because they feel grown-up and mature. Many times, the first experimentation with tobacco takes place at the precise time a child is requesting greater freedom.

But more freedom doesn't mean more unsupervised time to experiment with alcohol, tobacco or other drugs. Make sure your child has a safe, monitored place to go to after school. Find ways to help your child be involved in extra-curricular or community programs. 

Reason 2
To Fit in and Belong

Children want others to like them. Sometimes the group they want to join is - or the child thinks the group is - drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or using other drugs. Sometimes kids turn to alcohol, tobacco and other drugs to feel like they fit in - to overcome anxiety, change their personality, or give themselves courage to talk to other people.

Our society is flooded with messages that encourage us and our young people to use alcohol, tobacco and other drugs to enhance our lives and develop social skills. The messages can vary: "If you want to celebrate, don't do it without alcohol." "If you want to be pretty and thin, just pop some speed." "If you want your music to be cool, just smoke a little marijuana." "If you want an instant escape, just sniff some glue." But they help convince young people that they, too, should join "the crowd". Remember, wanting to fit in and belong is one of the most natural parts of growing up. It is important. In fact, if we really listen, we may find that for some it is the most important part of growing up.

Reason 3
To Relax and Feel Good

Being young doesn't necessarily mean being carefree. Young people often cite stress as a reason they use alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. Let's face it, there is a lot in the environment that makes it difficult for kids today, such as:

• Changing family structures
• A deluge of multimedia influences
• Violence and gangs
• Economic pressure
• Sexually transmitted diseases
• Easy access to alcohol, tobacco and drugs
• Lack of adult supervision and positive role models
• More teen pregnancies
• Lack of safe places to learn, play and socialize

And sometimes, we send messages of practicing unhealthy ways of dealing with stress.  How many times have we heard people say, "Boy, I could use a drink," as an antidote to stress? How many of us truly know how to deal with stress in healthy ways?  It seems pretty natural, then, that some young people think alcohol or illegal drugs will cheer them up or make them forget about the problems they have.

Children (and parents) need to learn how to deal with stress and how to relax, and they also need someone to help them through difficult times; someone who will listen to them without judging. One of the most important things that can keep children away from substance abuse is the love and support of at least one caring adult who mentors them through the many phases of childhood.

Reason 4
To Take Risks and Rebel

All children need to learn how to take risks. This is part of growing up. There are risks of all kinds that we take everyday - and we take more when we are young. We want to push the limits. The goal is to teach our kids how to take risks - but not with their health and not with their life. As children approach their teen years, virtually everything holds a small amount of risk, because everything feels so new and unexplored. As greater levels of risk are achieved, many young people will continue to look for opportunities to expand their horizons and grow. Therein lies the allure of alcohol, tobacco and illegal drugs.

When all other reasons are discounted, substance abuse may provide some youth with the chance to prove they can "handle it." Combine that with a really strong desire to be grown-up and images of people on TV and elsewhere drinking, smoking or taking drugs, it isn't too hard to understand why some young people want to take these risks. And for some kids, risk-taking can come about when they aren't completely clear about rules and boundaries.  So make sure that your kids understand yours.

Reason 5
To Satisfy Curiosity

For many of the reasons already presented, children are very curious about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. Kids are smart and they are very quick to pick up mixed messages in the media, at school, or at home. Even if we have done an outstanding job of educating and nurturing our children, there are some children who will still be curious about alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. Since many kids are going to find out a lot about these substances from unreliable sources, it's up to parents and caregivers to be the most reliable source!

Don't feel stuck about how these conversations can come about.  Have some fun shooting hoops together, and ease into the conversation.  Simple car rides for errands can also present an easy opportunity to open the doors to talking.  Truly, I wish you the best, if you know that talks about substance abuse are soon to come in your home.  It won't be easy, but the reward of helping your kids make the right choices about tough choices is always worth it.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.