How To Keep Your Cell Phone From Ruining Your Friendships
Oddly enough, cell phones have the potential to yank the plug on your personal relationships. Haven’t you ever made a lunch date with someone only to have them field one phone call or text message after another?
Our heavy usage of iPhones, BlackBerry’s and mobile phones is making it difficult to keep plugged into the people we're actually spending time with. We're just too accessible at all times to all kinds of calls – both business and pleasure.
To be honest, it all boils down to our cell phone etiquette. Consider how less important your in-the-flesh friends feel while you're tethered to someone else via a wireless call.
The problem with going wireless is that there’s a tendency for us to become mannerless. A communications professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison calls our lack of manners an “unconscious rudeness.” When using our mobile phones, we're not aware of what we're doing or of other people in our vicinity. And we’re all guilty of it.
Here’s a brief list of mobile manners we need to pay attention to once our ring tone goes off:
•Refrain from “cell yell” or speaking loudly in public on your cell. Someone at the next table on a conference call boisterously negotiating a business deal can ruin a quiet dinner you planned with your spouse.
•Keep your ring on a low volume. How many times have you been sitting in a restaurant having to listen to Beethoven’s 5th coming from a cell in the booth behind you or to the jumpy beat of a 5 piece Latin band drifting from the apron pocket of your server? Keep the volume down or go to vibrate.
•When asked to turn the cell off, turn it off. We’re asked to turn off our cells in hospitals, churches, synagogues, movie theatres, funerals, graduations, banks and school auditoriums. Murphy's Law dictates that at your daughter’s high school graduation ceremony someone’s cell will break out a Rolling Stone classic the moment your child is called to receive her diploma.
•Take the call in private. You may be expecting an important call. Set your phone to vibrate or silent mode. When your call comes through, excuse yourself and take it outside away from others.
•Don’t subject people in public to the details of your private life. You’re in a train, plane or on a bus. One fellow bus passenger is on the cell speaking about her relationship problems, another is talking about his recent breakup and a third caller is discussing detailed dinner plans with a friend. Some private things should not be discussed in public places.
•Don’t return text messages when talking to someone else. Answering texts while sitting with a friend can make that person feel unimportant.
•Know the proper time to call. Just because you have someone’s cell phone number does not mean you can call them anytime you want. It’s not hard to ask, “Is there a good time to call?”
•Be courteous to the person behind the counter. When in a store making a purchase, it’s best to hang up your cell or put your caller on hold to exchange proper greetings with the person behind the counter.
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•Remember the people around you. If you’re out with a bunch of friends, it’s acceptable to answer the phone for a few minutes. Acknowledge the caller, but also tell them you're with a group of close acquaintances and you’ll call them later or the next day.
We all need to mind our wireless manners. Oh, excuse me . . . I’ve got a call I must take . . . Got to run!
John
Email John: johnsblog@teshmedia.com
In my book Intelligence For Your Life: Powerful Lessons For Personal Growth you'll read more about how to take care of your relationships. You can purchase the book at your local bookstores or order it online from Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.
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