The John Tesh Blog

Take Control of Your Happiness

Time magazine reports when it comes to happiness, you’re in the driver’s seat!

Know this . . . unhappy circumstances don’t change by themselves. You and I are the ones responsible for our own level of contentment.

Our mistake is to take a passive role towards our happiness and do nothing but complain. It’s almost guaranteed that this course of action will backfire on us every time. Why?

A lack of effort on our part to take charge of our happiness will cause us to gravitate towards a gloomy attitude . . . just by default.

Here are several keys to help make the effort toward happiness a lot easier.

•Finding happiness is not a treasure hunt. A Live Science article claims the recipe for happiness is found by trying the following practical easy-to-do activities:

•make lists of things for which you're grateful
•practice acts of kindness
•notice life's small pleasures
•take care of your health
•invest time and energy into friendships and family.

You’ll notice that “becoming wealthier” is not on the list. With all the money in the world you could still have a negative, ungrateful attitude and slip into unhappiness.

•Realize success ultimately comes from being a happy person. Scientists reviewed cases involving 275,000 people and found happy people are more successful. Why? The Psychological Bulletin reports when a person has positive emotions, he is more confident, optimistic and full of energy. The happy person is more energized to do his best on the job.

Don’t you find that to be true?

A wonderful story from Henry Kissinger explains how the benefits of happiness motivates us to greater success.

The 56th Secretary of State of the United States assigned a writing project to one of his aides. The aide wrote the piece and sent it in. The next day the manuscript was back on the aide’s desk with a yellow note from Kissinger saying, “You can do better.”

The aide reworked the material and sent it in once more and received the same response from Kissinger.

Repairing Broken New Year's Resolutions

Has your life gone through any change since New Year’s Eve? Are you keeping your resolutions?

Perhaps your resolution was to lose weight. As a smoker, you may have decided to give up your habit. Others vowed to do a better job managing stress, eat healthier or spend more time with their family.

After a week or two, you may find yourself back where you started . . . sitting in defeat on a mound of broken commitments. I certainly hope not.

Whether you succeed or fail, it’s risky business making resolutions.

Philip R. Muskin, M.D., Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University suggests, “A new year is a great time to think about the changes we want to make. . . . but those resolutions can lead to frustration when we find we have set unrealistic goals.”

Do You Have a Right to Complain?

We’re always complaining. Don’t believe me?

Tonight at the dinner table . . . jot down every complaint you hear.

It’ll most likely sound like this . . .

I just can’t stand driving in that traffic. I think we need to move closer to where I work.

Mom! We had spaghetti and meatballs two nights ago. What else you got?

Dad, I’m too tired to do homework tonight. I’ve got too much to do.

If one more telemarketer calls me, I’m going to rip that phone out of the wall.

Sound familiar? Face it; you live in a house full of complainers.

What are you going to do about it?

Start with a reality check. The World Bank tells us 56 percent of the world's population lives in extreme poverty. They survive on an income of less than $730 per year or $2 per day. Now that should stop you from complaining . . . oh, for about fifteen minutes.

How about we try something totally different? Go 21 days without complaining.

For 21 days . . . no griping about traffic, having the same meal for dinner two nights in a row, the amount of homework your child brings home or the annoying homeless guy you see in front of the drug store everyday.

Pull this off for 21 days? But how? Here’s what one church attempted to put a halt to the complaining.

Rev. Steve Schwambach handed out 1,900 purple wristbands sporting the phrase “No complaining! Philippians 2:14” to his congregation.

The pastor challenged the people to switch the wristband to the other wrist whenever they complained. That way everyone else would know you’ve been extra crabby.

Did it work for this church? Some people lasted a few hours . . . some made it a few days. The pastor actually snapped his wristband from changing wrists so much.

Come on! We can do better than that.

Beat complaining by doing what the scriptures advise: Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God . . . . (Philippians 2:14-15). Instead of complaining about everything you do, do everything without complaining.

It’s not a matter of sticking a sock in your mouth. Rather do what the scriptures tell us . . try gratitude.

Yes, every life has its share of problems, upsets and disappointments.

But you don’t have to give in to them.

Try this. Each morning make a list. Find three reasons why you’re thankful. Read them aloud throughout the day. Post them to your desk . . . your car dashboard . . .anywhere you will see them. With all this gratitude under your belt, be an encouragement to others instead of a dark cloud.

But what will you do when you actually have a legitimate complaint? Express it. But don’t forget to express how you want to see change and not just criticize what you don’t like.

Okay, time to switch my wristband.

JOHN TESH
Email: johnsblog@teshmedia.com