The John Tesh Blog

Give a little? Get a lot.

Can you remember how hard it was to hear your parents say, as you were growing up, "Well, it's better to give, than to receive..." WHAT? How can that be better? Well, science- how about that- has proven what's really in it for you! Stephen Post, PhD, and Jill Neimark are the authors of Why Good Things Happen to Good People, and give us the guide to what you get for your giving, you holiday elf:

It's The Thought That Counts

Just thinking about generosity boosts your immunity. When Harvard students watched a film about Mother Teresa tending to orphans, the number of protective antibodies in their saliva surged; when the students were asked to focus on times when they'd been loved by or loving to others, their antibody levels stayed elevated for an hour. In another study, the brain's pleasure centers lit up when people made check marks next to a list of organizations to which they wanted to donate.

Lend an Ear, Help Your Heart

Being generous with your attention can reduce your risk of heart attack. Cardiac arrest is highly correlated with the amount of self-reference ("I," "me," "my") in a person's speech. The best advice? Listen to and connect with others- OH. How about what we talked about yesterday- LISTENING to those around you to avoid bickering. Social ties lower your risk of dying from heart disease.

Lend a Hand, Lower Your Pain

People suffering from chronic pain report decreased intensity, and less disability and depression, when they reach out to others in similar pain. In one study, pain was reduced by 13 percent. Scientists believe the release of endorphins explains the phenomenon.

Goodness Nose

In a study conducted at Carnegie Mellon University, people who were socially connected reported catching fewer colds. Volunteering is, of course, one of the simplest ways to connect.

Love Heals Some Wounds

In a 2005 Ohio State University study, married couples were given tiny blisters on two occasions. During the first visit, they talked to each other supportively; during the second, they hashed out relationship conflicts. The blisters took a day longer to heal after the second visit, and two days longer in couples with high levels of anger.

The Magic Touch

There's an off switch for the adrenal gland's production of the stress hormone cortisol: massage. A study that recruited retirees to give massages showed that their cortisol—as well as their anxiety and depression—levels dropped significantly.

Do you see an opportunity here, in these last days of the 2009 holiday season to spread some warmth, pay it forward, show your love? Then take it, in good health, my friend!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Avoid becoming the Bickers family this holiday season.

Remember them? It seems like your whole family became the Bickers last year. Everyone was so excited to be getting together! But then it didn't take long for everything to go downhill fast- and everyone, instead, was so excited to be away from each other. It's happened to all of us at one time or another- we get excited for the holidays- OH! the whole family will be coming! Well, yes- including an opinionated brother-in-law, an over-the-top aunt who puts the "L" in loud, maybe an interfering cousin who has lots of criticism for the teenagers in the house- and your parenting of them...pretty soon it's your own short-temper leading to soon-regretted outbursts that can put a huge damper on everyone's holiday spirit.

David Burns is a cognitive behavior therapist and author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and When Panic Attacks, as well as adjunct clinical professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine. He writes for Oprah about finding the ways to defuse stressful family situations by communicating more effectively. "Most people do surprisingly poorly when dealing with a relative who is hurting, depressed, or anxious—we get defensive and try to solve the problem rather than finding the truth in what the person is saying," says Burns. "I like to use what I call the five secrets of effective communication, which are made up of three listening skills and two self-expression skills."

First, practice listening (Burns calls it the disarming technique): "Find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems unreasonable or unfair. Then empathize by putting yourself in his or her shoes and see the world from her perspective." Part of being empathetic is to act as a mirror, paraphrasing her words and acknowledging how she's probably feeling.

"Third, ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling. Those are the three listening skills."

Now you're ready to begin communicating back. The fourth step is to use "I feel" statements, such as "I feel upset," rather than "You" statements, such as "You're wrong!" Stroking statements come last. "Stroking means treating the other person with respect even if you're angry and they're angry. Always do it in a way that the other person won't feel put down or lose face."

That can mean, for everyone in your family this year, warm and genuine hugs when the holidays are over and it's time for everyone to head back home, as well as warm and genuine excitement to see them all next year, too!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Make this a holiday season to remember for all the good things, not the fighting over money.

Thanks to the recession, economists say many families will be fighting this holiday season over money. Of course, thanks to the recession, families are fighting about money much more than previously so. So, how can you keep seasonal money arguments to a minimum? Follow these tips from economics expert Tyler Cowen, and Money magazine:

Learn to say “no.”

During the holidays, many families bombard each other with special requests – like picking up distant relatives at the airport or baking special desserts for dinner. Psychologists say giving in to every single request will increase the odds of a fight, because of the extra time and money involved. So prepare to accept a few family requests, and then say “no” to all the others. Your family will get along better if everyone pitches in equally.

Another way avoid a financial fight this season: Compromise the RIGHT way.

Thomas Schelling is an economics expert who specializes in negotiating. He says family money conflicts are usually part of a larger power struggle to show who’s boss. Those struggles won’t go away during the holidays, but you can defuse them by telling everyone you’re willing to compromise “this one time” – as a way of showing your holiday spirit. For example: If you and your family always argue over who owes more on your monthly cell phone bill, offer to pay this month’s entire bill. A compromise now will help keep the peace during the holidays, without sending the message that you’ll be a “softy” who caves in every time the issue comes up in the future.

Here’s one more way to avoid a fight over money this season: Assign control, and then butt out.

For example: Let’s say your family has agreed to organize a Christmas party. Divide up all the tasks evenly, so that one person handles food, another handles decorations, and so on. Then, once you’ve agreed to a task, do that one job and keep your nose out of what everyone else is doing! Economists call that a “trade and property rights” agreement. It’s a way of giving everyone an equal right to make decisions on their own, without being second guessed at every turn.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Think about putting "spectacular marriage" on your Christmas list this year!

Spectacular? Oh, yes (I must be on a 'spectacular' kick...talked about spectacular, and eco-friendly Christmas decorations yesterday!) It sure is a powerful word, but no more so than the negativity that can turn a relationship sour. Redbook's Nicole Yorio opens the door to 4 spectacularly easy ways to make an amazing marriage with love moves that will bring the two of you closer than ever...just in time for the holidays!

What do couples who describe their marriages as spectacular do differently than those who describe their marriages as simply so-so? The differences are quite small, actually. "When we look at happy couples, we see that great marriages are not the result of hours of hard work," says relationship researcher Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., who followed 373 couples for over 22 years as part of a marriage study funded by the National Institutes of Health. "It's the small changes in behavior and attitude that can transform your relationship." In her new book, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, Orbuch shares the steps you can take to marital greatness.

1. Understand Each Other's Needs
"The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or intimacy incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration — the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts — that is most damaging." To diffuse that frustration, share your expectations with each other. Maybe your wife desires more affection and you crave more relaxed couple time- that spells time for compromise, and taking turns (see? those sandbox moments still hold true for an adult!) "And be sure to check in with your partner once a year, as added pressures or life changes can create new expectations," Orbuch says.

2. Show Him Some Love
Husbands whose wives give them affirmation — those words and gestures that show they are appreciated, respected, and loved — are twice as likely to describe themselves as happily married. And men may need affirmation more than women, Orbuch's research showed. "Women are constantly receiving flattery from friends and even strangers who say, 'Love your outfit!'" she says. "But men don't get that recognition." Can you imagine a passerby stopping your husband to compliment him on how well his tie matches his shirt? Not gonna happen — which is why men rely on that attention from their wives. Luckily, there's another payoff to your flattery: He's more likely to return those loving deeds back to you.

3. Take 10
A weekly date night is always recommended as a way to reconnect, but sometimes all you need is a few minutes. "I call this the 10-Minute Rule: Take 10 minutes a day to talk about anything — except for kids, responsibilities, or chores," Orbuch says. Throw out Mom's old advice about how an air of mystery keeps the flame alive: Orbuch's research showed that 98 percent of happy couples say they intimately understand their partners. And knowing your spouse intimately isn't always about engaging in heavy conversations: Anything that helps you learn something new will bring you closer, Orbuch says. You can bond over why you think your dog is the smartest one on your block or which superpower you'd want most. You'll get to know each other's inner world and strengthen your bond of happiness.

4. Focus on the Good
The best way to make your relationship better is to work at fixing what's wrong, right? Nope. "The most effective way to boost fun and passion is to add positive elements to your marriage," Orbuch says. "That positive energy makes us feel good and motivates us to keep going in that direction." This doesn't mean that you can't feel — or talk about — anything negative, but "pretend you are weighing your interactions on a scale," she says. "If you want a happier relationship, the positive side needs to far outweigh the bad." The more you honor the love and joy in your bond, the sooner you'll transform your marriage into one that is truly great.

Happiness to you today,

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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All the single ladies? All the single men, too. Lots of singles- but do they want to stay that way?

Attention singles. If you feel like you can’t find someone who wants to settle down, you’re right! According to experts, single folks are now in the majority. 51% of the households in America are filled with unmarried people. Add to that, Stephen Mason, PhD, recently wrote in Psychology Today about filling in for a colleague in leading a psychotherapy group called Living Life as a Long-Time Single. Mason says the group that turned out that evening was evenly divided between males and females and their ages varied enough to make it a well-rounded group of people. That being the case, he was "blown away by the response to my very first question. When I asked how many would willingly trade 'singledom' for 'coupledom' they were unanimous in wanting to switch." There was, of course, the requirement that the Significant Other should be a real sweetheart, great catch, etc., but Mason says it still came down to the fact that nobody in the room was there by choice. In the best of worlds, they would all have been home with Mr/Ms Right. So here are the answers to 3 questions about why people stay single. And how they can find someone who wants to commit. These come from Jillian Straus, author of the book Unhooked Generation.

• Question #1: Why is it so hard for people to settle down? Straus says the biggest reason people are scared to commit is because they don’t want their marriage to fail. Today’s singles are the first generation to be heavily affected by the rise in divorce – which boomed in the 70s and 80s. Prior to that, divorce was still considered shameful. 
• Question #2: How can people be more positive about committing? Straus says people need to stop thinking “Am I missing out on someone better?” Trends like internet dating let singles connect with tons of potential mates, so they’re always left wondering if there’s something better out there. But the grass is never greener on the other side of the fence. When you get to the other side, and see it up close, you see that someone else’s lawn has the same weeds and bald spots yours does. The lesson is to appreciate what you’ve got, instead of dreaming of what you don’t have. So if the person you’re dating meets 8 out of 10 requirements on your list – stick with them. You’ll never find someone who gets 10 out of 10. Also, would you want to be judged as harshly as you’re judging others? Probably not. If you want to be loved “warts and all” – you have to do the same.

So how can you get a relationship off on the right footing? You have to let potential mates know exactly what you want; people aren’t mind readers. Relationships are about communication, and if you can’t speak your mind early on, you’re going to have a hard time in any serious relationship. So, if you want to have Mexican food for dinner, but you answer ‘I don’t care’ when your date asks where you want to eat, don’t get upset if you end up at an Italian restaurant.  You do care; saying you have no preference isn't putting a real you out in front. David Steele, author of Conscious Dating, says that people put more effort into buying a car than selecting a mate. When they do meet someone, they make impulsive decisions based on desperation, or fleeting feelings. So, here are his tips on how to stop hoping for love, and become a conscious dater who’s actively looking for it:

• First, know who you are and what you want. Think of yourself as an iceberg. The “everyday” you is the part that sticks up out of the water. And the real you is the 90 percent that’s hidden from view. So, sit down with a piece of paper, and ask your hidden self a few questions. Like, what new places, activities, and experiences would you like to try? And where do you see yourself 5 years from now in work, family, and fun? That’s the person you should be selling to the world, and the person who really does have a preference between Mexican or Italian food for dinner.
  
• Then, become the partner you’re looking for. Grab your “wish list,” pick an activity, and make plans to do it. Whether it’s trying spicy Indian food, bungee jumping off a bridge, or sitting under a waterfall on a tropical island. If you do what you love, you’re more likely to run into someone who loves it, too. And voilà – an instant connection!
• Strengthen your relationship skills with your family, friends, and co-workers. Bottom line: The better you are at relationships in general, the better you’ll be at creating - and holding onto - a relationship when you finally meet “The One", or...maybe being single won't feel so much like a void in your life when these relationships become stronger.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Why it's so important for us to forgive, and 4 steps to get there.

Yes, yes, we are all unique individuals. But, boy, sometimes our habits and ways of thinking are just plain old human tendency. Say you were practically run off the road this morning by a rude, nearly out of control driver. It's a wonder you made it safely! (Thank goodness!) Bet you're still steamed when you think about it, huh? Or maybe it's something else entirely that gets your blood boiling. What is your normal reaction when people hurt you intentionally? Retaliate! Get even! We're often at our creative best when we're thinking up methods to get even. Pastor Rick Warren understands that this tendency can be in our deepest nature- something pretty difficult to overcome, unless we consciously make a different choice, and the greatest spiritual leaders over all time teach us to make the choice to forgive. Instead of reacting, we should take the initiative to forgive.

In his book, Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?, John Powell says he was walking down the street with a friend and they stopped to get a paper. The man selling the paper was discourteous and very rude. As they walked away, John's friend said to the man, "You have a nice day, now!"

John asked his friend, "Is that man always that rude to you?"

"Yes."

"Are you always that nice to him?"

John's friend said, "Yes, I'm not going to let one man ruin my day."

The brilliant African-American scientist, Booker T. Washington, faced prejudice all his life, but he made a very significant choice about how he would handle it: "I will never allow another man to control or ruin my life by making me hate him."

The moment you start retaliating or seeking revenge is the same moment you give up control of your life. You have allowed the person you're angry at to gain control of your life because you are reacting, which is a position of weakness, as opposed to forgiving, which is a position of strength.

So now we understand why we should be forgiving people; how do we get there?

"To understand forgiveness, you must first understand what forgiveness is not," psychiatrist Dr. Ned Hallowell says in his book Dare to Forgive. He explains at Oprah.com that forgiveness it isn't about turning your cheek to someone or running away from the problem. It's not about condoning what the person has done.  It doesn't mean that you don't want the offending person to be punished. It doesn't mean that you forget the offense, nor does it mean that by forgiving you tacitly invite bad things to happen again. It doesn't mean that you won't defend yourself.

So what does it mean? Forgiveness is one of those words that we assume we can define, but when asked we sometimes come up blank, so let's think about it a moment: How would you define forgiveness?

The dictionary can help. The American Heritage College Dictionary defines "forgive" as, "To renounce anger or resentment against." It goes back to a Greek root word that means "to set free," as in freeing a slave. Ironically, when we forgive, the slave we free is ourselves. We free ourselves from being slaves to our own hatred.

So what is forgiveness and how can you practice it? Dr. Hallowell shares four steps to help you forgive others.

Pain and Hurt
Dr. Hallowell says the first step to forgiveness is acknowledging what happened.

• Talk to someone you trust and open up about how hurt, sad or angry you may feel. Let your emotions out, and don't apologize for them.
• Don't withdraw or isolate yourself. Stay connected and feel the pain, even though it hurts. With someone there to listen, the pain is more bearable.

Reliving and Reflecting
Once you've had the chance to vent, you are ready to appeal to your rational side, Dr. Hallowell says.

• Ask yourself: What do you want this pain to turn into?
• Look for the hook. The hook is what is holding you back—it's the portion of the misdeed that is causing you to hold on to your anger and resentment.
• Empathize with the person who hurt you.
• Remember that forgiveness is not the service of condoning. It's a service to yourself—free yourself from the poison of hatred.

Working It Out
Dr. Hallowell says this step is difficult, but you need to analyze your anger and put your life back into perspective.

• Flatten the hook (what's holding you back) and rid yourself of the anger that is keeping you from forgiveness. Praying and mediating can help.
• Take inventory and give thanks for all the things you do have.
• You can imagine vengeance—just don't act on it.
• Think of your future. Know that you and your loved ones will be better off once you have rid yourself of any vengeful thinking.

Renounce Your Anger and Resentment
Dr. Hallowell uses the word "renounce" because your resentful feelings may never permanently go away.

• Acknowledge that your anger can come back.
• If your anger does comes back, go through the process again and flatten the hook to keep moving forward.
• Try to teach others the skill of forgiveness in an empathetic way.

The amazing thing about forgiveness, I think, is that when you have truly set your heart and mind on it...it will happen. Many times we tell ourselves to forgive someone or some transgression, but we may not have taken the steps to place our pain or anger where it cannot hurt us any longer. Once that step is taken- I know- it's a huge step!- but once it is taken...even a genuine start in the process...you will be free, and you will have forgiven.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

How to be spiritual every single day. And no, you don't have to go somewhere to do it.

Spirituality- it's not just for Sundays anymore. Have you thought about yours lately? Your level of spirituality can play an important role in each and every aspect of your life- your job, your job search, perhaps, your friends and family- in short, you.  Of course, our families move to the head of the list when it comes to safeguarding the most important relationships of your life.  While it's good to have strong relationships with all the people in your life, it's important to put your relationship with your "Source" at the top of your priority list, spiritual teacher Dr. Wayne Dyer, spiritual guru, and renowned author of "Excuses Begone! How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits", tells Oprah. Your Source can be God, the Tao, Divine mind, Krishna or whatever else you call your higher power—the key is that you make this bond your number one.

Dr. Dyer shares five practices to help you become more spiritual every day.

Get Quiet

Decide to reduce the noise level in your life. Learn to take time each and every day for

quiet contemplation. For example, when you're driving alone, turn off the constant chatter bombarding your inner world. Try to make meditation a daily practice, even if it's only a few minutes each day. As Swami Sivananda reminded his students, "Silence is the language of the gods." Ask in silence, listen in silence, and let silence be the jumping-off point for becoming one with the creative force of the universe.

Reenergize Your Surroundings

The Power of Intention works when you surround yourself with people who are on the same spiritual path as you. Remember that like attracts like, so you attract Source energy to you by being like it. Similarly, when you're continually in the company of low-energy, angry, depressed, shaming, hateful people, you'll probably find life a little more challenging. Choose to be in the company of those who hold a space for you to achieve the joy of maximizing, rather then minimizing, your highest human potential. Make your surroundings a temple of love and kindness. Pay attention to the music you listen to, the art you view, even the arrangement of your furniture and flowers—all of it!

Get Back to Nature

One of the most spiritual things you can do in your life is spend time in nature. When I am in nature, it feels like God has entered my consciousness, and a rapturous feeling of contentment overwhelms me. A setting that showcases nature's beauty is pure God in action: unspoiled, untended, alive in stillness and teeming with life. When you're there, you'll begin to see the miraculousness of every cubic inch of space. You'll feel the presence of an energy that you may have lost touch with in your daily life, and that energy is in you.

Practice Yoga

The meaning of the word yoga translates to "union." The ancient rishis who gave us yoga considered stretching, balancing and flexible exercise an opportunity to experience union with God. Such a union with the Source of being wasn't a painful experience, since God was viewed as natural, peaceful and gentle. Even as you stay in a space the size of a small mat, you attain the same kind of benefit as other, more punishing exercise regiments but without the pain or exertion. Yoga is a great workout for the entire body—particularly the joints, muscles and even internal organs—but especially for the mind.

Practice Mindfulness

Truly experience all things you do during the day. Try to escape the habitual feelings and thoughts you experience and stay in the present moment. Enjoy each of your actions fully.

See if just for a few minutes today, you can truly quiet yourself- from the stresses, anxieties, unanswered questions and problems, or even anger you may harbor deep inside. Quiet your mind, and find out if a small pocket of peace- to bring you closer to the spirituality each of us holds inside.  Have a blessed, and wonderful day.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Set yourself, and others, to the highest expectations- you might be surprised.

Our very good friend, Rick Warren, author of A Purpose Driven Life, tells an amazing story about a friend who taught college in Oregon for awhile. Bruce, Rick's friend, was told when he began his first semester teaching there, that the college placed students in English classes by their level of ability. Bruce was assigned to teach two “average ability” classes and one “advanced ability.” He really enjoyed teaching the advanced class: they seemed more alert, more fun, asked better questions, and, as expected, had a higher grade average than the other classes.

On the final day of the semester, Bruce commented on these differences to the other professors in the faculty lounge. He said he hoped to get more of the advanced classes next semester. He was very surprised when the department director said, “Bruce, I don’t know where you got your information but we phased out the average/advanced distinction a year ago. You’ve been teaching mixed classes all semester like the rest of us!”

Bruce couldn’t believe it! He checked his records, and sure enough, there were far more A’s and B’s in the class that he thought was full of smart kids. And he really had enjoyed teaching that class more. But the only real difference between the classes had been Bruce’s expectations of them.

You can set people up for success or failure by your expectations.

People tend to become what they think we expect them to be. If you communicate to the people around you that you expect them to be lazy, uncreative, and negative, that’s probably how they will respond to you. On the other hand, if you treat people like winners, they’re likely to become winners. Psychologists call it “The Pygmalion Effect.”

• The best salesmen expect customers to buy their product.
• The best executives expect employees to have creative ideas.
• The best speakers expect audiences to be interested.
• The best leaders expect people to want to follow.
• The best teachers expect students to learn.
Would you like to bring out the best in those around you? Here's the key: Treat them the way they could be! Don’t just “tell it like it is.” Tell it like it could be.

What are you expecting this week from others...or, yourself? 

There is only one person who is capable of setting limits to your growth and that person is you. Your life can change, when you decide it can.  It can change, and the relationships around you can as well, when you set your sights higher- for those closest to you, and for yourself; when you expect more of yourself, and go beyond the limiting beliefs- the labels- we put on those around us.

Examine yourself, and the relationships you have with friends, family, and co-workers (or employees, for that matter!) Don't be afraid of difficulties, impossibilities and losses. Let everyone around you feel the confidence, and the high expectations, you hold in them.  Be a winner, and you may find your new reality is being surrounded by winners as well. 

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Lessons from geese. Betcha didn't know they had any to give!

OK- your standard flock of geese may not be the first idea you come up with when searching for inspiration...well, geese may very well not make it into any idea you have in seeking life's lessons.  They're pretty dirty, noisy and all.  Fair enough, but just for kicks, let's see what we can learn from THE GOOSE.  You may be surprised.

1.  Fact:  As each goose flaps its wings it creates an "uplift" for the birds that follow.  By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew alone.

Lesson:  People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going quicker and easier because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

2.  Fact:  When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of flying alone.  It quickly moves back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird immediately in front of it.

Lesson:  If we have as much sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go, too.  We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others.

3.  Fact:  When the lead goose tires, it rotates back into the formation and another goose flies to the point position.

Lesson:  It pays to take turns doing the hard tasks and sharing leadership.  Like geese, we are interdependent on one another's skills, capabilities and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, knowledge or resources.

4.  Fact:  Geese flying in formation honk to encourage those up front to maintain the speed.  

Lesson:  We need to make sure our honk is encouraging.  In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater.  The power of encouragement(to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek.

5.  Fact:  When a goose becomes ill, or is wounded and going down, two geese drop out of formation and follow it down to help and protect it.  They stay with their fallen comrade until it dies, or is able to fly again.  Then they launch out with another formation or catch up with the flock.

Lesson:  If we have as much sense as geese, we will stand by each other in difficult times as well as when we are strong.

It's called "teamwork", my dear friend.  And think about it:  what places or situations could this encouraging teamwork spirit work for you?  Work- I bet.  School?  Of course!  Your spiritual center committee?  Absolutely!  How about your neighborhood, or as close to home as family members.  Give a honk to those in your life you care about today! 

Happy Monday-

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

How to Unleash Acts of Kindness

Do you ever wonder why you perform acts of kindness?  Do you act kindly to others to show what a great person you are?  Are you looking for a pat on the back or some public recognition?  

What if you never received any thanks for your deeds of kindness?  You held open doors, helped someone off with their coat, sent an encouragement card, listened intently when someone spoke or offered financial support to someone with a problem.  Yet all your good work went unnoticed.  Would you stop doing them? 

What is your motive for unleashing acts of kindness?  Is it to get credit from someone else?

A great definition of kindness is the expression of love towards others as you act upon the person God created you to be.

Here God gets the credit and our acts of kindness are more for Him to get the pats on the back, not us.  You are allowing Him to utilize your talents to show His kindness - not yours - to others.

Here are some easy-to-do acts of kindness that any one of us can do:

•Smile at every person you make eye contact with today. Our society is speeding by so fast that it's a nice surprise to get a warm smile from a complete stranger. 

•Bring items to a local animal shelter. You can bring towels, blankets and pet food.  Collect these items and then on your lunch hour swing by and drop them off.  

•Pay someone else's fee. For people who live in states where you have to go through a toll booth, try paying for the person behind you. The reason this is so cool is that the recipient of this good deed will probably return the gesture to someone else.

•Give flowers to unsuspecting persons.  How about the female crossing guards who make sure our kids make it to school every day each week?  If you have a loved one in the hospital, buy a box of candy for the nurses taking care of your relative or friend.  

•Get back to writing letters. Emails are too easy to let someone know how much you appreciate them.  Put a pen to paper and start writing. People appreciate the time and effort it takes to compose a letter.  I love getting thank you cards in the mail better than a quick "thank you" via an email.

•Start showing kindness right in your own neighborhood.  How are you showing kindness to others in your own vicinity?  Have you even introduced yourself to them or made eye contact?  I'm going to break this down to some very simple ways to show consideration for others.

    Think about your neighbors when you park your car.  Did you park well within the lines or are you over-parking into his spot?  

     Consider how loud your music and TV sound. Some people crank up their music as loud as they can, not caring who it bothers.  

    Make sure you pick up after your pet and never leave a collection within walking distance. There are plenty of dog owners who allow their pets to do their duty on other people's lawns without making any attempt to clean up.

    Offer to help your neighbor if they are struggling to bring a heavy piece of furniture into their home or apartment.  This is an opportunity to get to know your neighbor and you'll never know when you'll need their services.

These ideas for showing kindness are excellent. They are simple and they allow you to start right where you live.  If you have additional ideas you can send them in to intelligentkindess@tesh.com.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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