The John Tesh Blog

Avoid becoming the Bickers family this holiday season.

Remember them? It seems like your whole family became the Bickers last year. Everyone was so excited to be getting together! But then it didn't take long for everything to go downhill fast- and everyone, instead, was so excited to be away from each other. It's happened to all of us at one time or another- we get excited for the holidays- OH! the whole family will be coming! Well, yes- including an opinionated brother-in-law, an over-the-top aunt who puts the "L" in loud, maybe an interfering cousin who has lots of criticism for the teenagers in the house- and your parenting of them...pretty soon it's your own short-temper leading to soon-regretted outbursts that can put a huge damper on everyone's holiday spirit.

David Burns is a cognitive behavior therapist and author of the best-selling books Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and When Panic Attacks, as well as adjunct clinical professor emeritus of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine. He writes for Oprah about finding the ways to defuse stressful family situations by communicating more effectively. "Most people do surprisingly poorly when dealing with a relative who is hurting, depressed, or anxious—we get defensive and try to solve the problem rather than finding the truth in what the person is saying," says Burns. "I like to use what I call the five secrets of effective communication, which are made up of three listening skills and two self-expression skills."

First, practice listening (Burns calls it the disarming technique): "Find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems unreasonable or unfair. Then empathize by putting yourself in his or her shoes and see the world from her perspective." Part of being empathetic is to act as a mirror, paraphrasing her words and acknowledging how she's probably feeling.

"Third, ask gentle, probing questions to learn more about what the other person is thinking and feeling. Those are the three listening skills."

Now you're ready to begin communicating back. The fourth step is to use "I feel" statements, such as "I feel upset," rather than "You" statements, such as "You're wrong!" Stroking statements come last. "Stroking means treating the other person with respect even if you're angry and they're angry. Always do it in a way that the other person won't feel put down or lose face."

That can mean, for everyone in your family this year, warm and genuine hugs when the holidays are over and it's time for everyone to head back home, as well as warm and genuine excitement to see them all next year, too!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Your children may be stressed. How to help them be stress-free.

It's not exactly new news to us in this last year, or more, that adults are reporting sky-high levels of stress- even those who'd not felt high levels of anxiety previously. Home foreclosures, job losses (now the leading cause of the highest unemployment numbers we've seen in decades), health care benefits losses...this list can seem insurmountable sometimes! Our economic turndown has taken a huge toll on us- but on our children, too! Kids already have plenty to get stressed about: homework, cliques, sibling rivalry. And as news about the economy, natural disasters, and terrorism fills the airwaves and dinner-table conversations, it's almost impossible for children not to pick up on their parents' stress as well.

"I have kids tell me that they’re worried about the environment and the economy," says clinical child psychologist Mark L. Goldstein, Ph.D., an adjunct professor at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Children have a different reaction to stress than adults. They may lose concentration and get stomachaches and more frequent colds. A study done at the University of Rochester Medical Center found that children whose families are under stress experience more fevers. But MSN Kids' Health & Fitness suggests starting with yourself, and working your way down to fine some concrete ways to help them—and you—get a grip.

1. Troubleshoot your own stress

Eight out of 10 Americans say the economy is a significant source of stress in their lives, according to an American Psychological Association survey. Those fears can spread to our kids. "Children turn to parents in order to get a sense of what's going to happen," says Deborah Belle, director of the human-development doctoral program at Boston University. Taking a time out, whether it's a walk or a long hot bath, will calm you down and offer an example of a healthy reaction to stress. Put off difficult conversations with your spouse until after your kids have gone to bed.

2. Be firm about activity-overload

Kids are way overbooked these days. "I met with the family of an 11-year-old who was in a dozen different activities," says Dr. Goldstein. "She wasn't sleeping, her nails were bitten, and she was wetting her bed." When he recommended that she drop some of the activities, her parents protested that she loved them all. But parents have to make the decision of what's best. His rule of thumb: "One sport, one other activity, plus any religious education your child may be taking."

3. Bump bedtime up by half an hour

A 2006 National Sleep Foundation poll found that children hit the sheets about 30 minutes past their official bedtime. Plus, they may need much more sleep than you think, says Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., associate director of the sleep center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Preschoolers need 11 to 13 hours a night, 5- to 12-year-olds require 9 to 11 hours, and kids 13 and up need about 8 1/2 to 9 1/2 hours. If there's a TV in your child's room, yank it, says Dr. Mindell. "The light suppresses production of relaxing melatonin and makes them less sleepy."

4. Encourage kids to move more

Children in America are exercising less than ever before. This inactivity decreases production of the hormones that help regulate stress. If your children don't play team sports or run around outside with friends, institute family activities such as an after-dinner walk or a weekend bike ride.

And just think what a little more sleep for yourself, and a little more activity with your kids could do for your own stress level? Can we say LOWER??

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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How's your child's school year so far- drug free? Find out.

As another school year is now not such a new thing, your family has probably settled into some routines and habits to keep things running smoothly for everyone- maybe you've got a daily, or weekly, checklist. Homework due dates? Check. Upcoming projects? Questions to ask your child about drugs and alcohol? Get it on the list! 

No matter how challenging, or easy, the school year seems to be, or what the daily routines of all in your family, you must devote time to include conversations about substance use, including your "zero tolerance" stance. Research shows that adolescents are at a higher risk of first-time use during periods of "change," in order to cope with stress. A new school year may bring many new changes: new grade, new school, new teachers, new coaches or new friends. Don't let these common tween changes cause your child to experiment with substances. Parents and mentors: here's how to start.

• Talk. Be clear that using alcohol, tobacco or other drugs is not acceptable. Let your child know that you would be very disappointed if he/she chose to use.
• Listen. Provide opportunities for your child to talk about changes happening in their world. Ask open-ended questions like, "How are you feeling about the new school year?"
• Help build confidence. Teach your child how to "break the ice" with new people, by asking things like, "What were you up to this summer?"
• Be a role model. Set a good example by being a consistent, positive presence in your child's life.

Looking for the right time, the right place, the right way, to have this conversation? You may never find such a moment; you have to make the time for it, and simply dig in.  Although drug addiction and alcoholism isn't likely to be a hot topic around your Thanksgiving table this holiday, you may find an easy way to open up the conversation over another point of the weekend. With time off school, and possibly some time off work, a visit over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house could be the way to bring up a difficult subject. It is important to know your family's history of substance use and abuse and to share that information with your child.

While there are a number of factors that determine a child's risk associated with substance abuse, there is strong scientific evidence that substance addiction is partially genetic. Does that mean that if you're an alcoholic, your child is destined to be an alcoholic? No. But, a child whose biological parent or grandparent has been addicted to drugs or alcohol is at a four-time greater risk for becoming an "addict."  And due to the nature of "addiction," and its tie to the brain, if a person is biologically at greater risk for alcoholism, he or she is equally at greater risk for addiction to other substances as well.

Talk To Your Child (Without Judgment) About:

Family History: "Grandpa has heart disease and alcoholism."

Health Risks: "Because of Grandpa's health history, you are at an increased risk of developing not only heart disease, but becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol."

Lifestyle Choices: "You may never get heart disease or become addicted to alcohol. But, the choices you make can help to protect you. To prevent heart disease, it is important you eat right, exercise and maintain a healthy weight. To prevent alcoholism, it is important that you not consume alcohol as a minor. Not only am I fully against underage drinking, but research shows that the earlier a person begins drinking, the more likely that person is to develop an addiction. Even as an adult, if you chose to drink alcohol, you will need to be extra careful, given our family history."

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Parenting lessons every father should know...and practice.

Fathering your children is the most important thing you’ll ever do in this lifetime. Sometimes the role of the father is downplayed, but the statistics are endless: kids who grow up without a father are more likely to be high school dropouts, end up in prison and abuse drugs. The lessons we learn from our fathers turn us into the men and women we grow up to be. So from the folks at Rodale Publishing here are four great parenting lessons that every father should know!

• Talk to your kids all the time. According to a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology, children learn language skills more from their fathers than from their mothers. So talk to them about everything and use big words. They might not know what they mean now, but they’ll learn a lot just by listening.
• Stay calm in the face of tantrums. When your kid is screaming, don’t get worked up. It just makes the situation worse, and handing over a treat to get them to stop, only reinforces bad behavior. Instead, listen to them and calmly whisper your response to what they’re saying. Just because your kid did something idiotic doesn’t mean you have to act like an idiot too. Instead, lean over to them, put your lips close to their ear, and whisper. ”I’m very disappointed in the way you’re acting.” You’ll get your message across. Bringing down the volume makes sure your kids don’t get the drama they’re looking for.
• Help your kids understand that quitting can be even harder than finishing. Hal Runkel, author of Scream Free Parenting, says when his son wanted to quit baseball he told him he could, BUT he had to tell the coach AND all his teammates. His son couldn’t do it. He’s been playing and loving it for seven years.
• Let kids have a little independence, but make them earn it! Studies say when kids have more freedom and responsibility they develop stronger morals more quickly. So it’s okay to let your kid stay out a little later, as long as they understand that there are rules and consequences for breaking them. So, when your kids asks to stay late at a friend’s house, ask them why. If they don’t have a good answer, it’s OK to say no.

So what do you think, Dad? Got a few minutes today to think about this, and a little more  time this weekend to put some of these lessons into action (yes, even if you already do- little more push- know what I'm saying?) Can you envision a point in your life at which you can say, "There- my job as Dad is done."? End of story- share a great weekend with your family, and it'll end up being a better one for you, I'm just willing to bet!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Trick your teen? The treat you'll find is better communication.

It’s a fact: teens trick their parents from time to time. Experts say it’s normal for teens to stretch rules, take risks and try out some trickery (just think back to when you were a teen- go ahead- breathe that sigh of relief that you came out all right!) But there are some key things parents can do to keep their young tricksters safe and healthy. With Halloween around the corner, why not roll up your sleeves and do some productive tricking — and treating — of your own?

Here are 10 ways parents can reduce teen mischief and encourage a healthy relationship with their teen on Halloween and beyond from The Partnership for a Drug-Free America.

1. Trick your teen into talking.

Make time to talk with your teen every day, so it becomes routine. That way when you have an important topic to discuss, it will be more comfortable and flow more naturally. Chat it up regularly — about celebrities, classmates, the news or anything to help maintain open lines of communication.

Neil I. Bernstein, Ph.D., adolescent psychologist and author, says “If you’re thoughtful and open and expressive, and you’ve developed good communication with your kids all along, it’s going to be an easier ride.”

2. Trick them with your digital savvy.

Bone up on the latest technology and you’ll gain a better understanding of your teen’s  world. Learn to use online social networks like Facebook and MySpace and status update services like Twitter. Texting your teen- except when you know they're driving- is a great non-confrontational way to check in, show your support and stay connected.

Surveys from Kelton Research show that more than half of teens who text message think it has improved their relationship with their parents, and 51 percent of parents who text with their teens agree that they communicate more often.

3. Trick them into taking healthy risks.

It’s natural for teens to want to take risks: Teen brains and bodies are bursting with energy and idealism — even if it doesn't always show. Urge your teen to take healthy risks; He may develop some valuable life skills in the process. First learn what your teen finds exciting and daring and then help him focus on some healthy options. Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, school consultant and author who would like to see every teen out in the wilderness, out at a summer camp, out on a ropes course, doing something that’s scarier than what he might have chosen to do himself, which Thompson believes gives teens a big boost in self-respect.  "Even if he has a safety line on him, the fact that he’s out on a rope with a 40-foot drop or something, he’s scared, and he’s pushed. And I do think that takes up some of teenagers’ risk-taking energy.”

4. Trick them into telling you about their day.

“How was your day?” “Fine.” Sound familiar? To get your teen to open up to you, try asking specific, open-ended conversation-starters like these:
• Did any of your classmates do anything funny?
• Tell me about what you read in class.
• Do you think math [or any subject] is too easy or too hard?
• What’s the biggest difference between this year and last year?
• Who did you sit with at lunch?
• Can you show me something you learned (or did) today? 

5. Trick your teen into staying out of trouble.

Encourage your teen to join a club, play a sport or participate in community service — this will give her something structured to do afterschool as well as a wider circle of friends. There may be lots of healthy (and cheap!) opportunities right in your community like trying out for a sports team or auditioning for a play. Try getting ideas at the library, her school, or your place of worship. Marybeth Hicks, a motivational speaker and parenting author, writes, “Kids in middle school can try a lot of new sports and activities and drama and music and lots of things that keep them very busy. A tired middle schooler is a low-risk middle schooler — so we want them to be busy and involved. And as we go along with them in those activities and participate in an appropriate way, they know we’re right with them and they know that they’re safe.”

6. Trick them into following your rules.

Rules don’t alienate kids. Rules about what’s acceptable — from obeying curfews to calling in to tell you where they are — make children feel loved and secure. Explain that you set limits only because you care and not because you don’t trust her. Make sure your teen knows your rules, and understands the consequences of breaking the rules. If she clearly sees the consequences, and views them as fair, she is more apt to follow the rules.

7. Trick them into telling you the truth.

Always be honest with your teen, even when it comes to answering difficult questions. If your teen senses your genuine honesty, he will likely follow your example. Explain to your teen know that honesty is a highly-respected trait, one that requires courage and  independent thought. Tell him that you value his honesty and are willing to listen without making judgments. “Use an open-ended question that is not accusatory but alludes to a possible behavior such as ‘Anything interesting happen at the party last night?’”, advises Vanessa Van Petten, an author and teen expert.

8. Trick them by offering a safety plan.

Imagine you’re a teen and you’ve just done something really dumb like get drunk at a friend’s house. Who are the last people on earth you’d want to find out? Your parents, right? A safety plan gets your teen past that fear by letting him know that you care more about him than about what he does. Even if you think he already knows how you feel,
spell it out for him. Then lay out your plan. Here’s one way to do it:
“Nothing in the world is more important to me than keeping you healthy and safe. That’s one reason I don’t want you to drink or do drugs. But if you ever find yourself in a bad situation- like, you get drunk at a party, or the person who’s supposed to drive you home does- I want you to call me. I don’t care what time it is. I’ll come to pick you up and I won’t ask any questions until the next day. Will you promise to do that for me?”

9. Trick them into feeling good about themselves.

Give your teen lots of praise and positive feedback. Teens need to hear the “good stuff” just like the rest of us. (And they’ll eat up the extra attention, too.) They need to know you can still see beyond the things they do wrong from time to time. Catch them being good and always reward positive, responsible, mature behavior. Richard Catalano, Ph.D., Professor and Director of the Social Development Research Group at The University of
Washington’s School of Social Work, says, “After your teen finishes a task, or at least shows that he really tried, make sure you recognize his effort. That recognition really provides the motivation for kids to continue.”

10. Treat your teen with love and support.

It’s very important that teens feels supported at all times by their parent. Be sure to let your child know that he or she can always count on you and come to you for guidance.
• Reassure your child that she can confide in or seek advice from you when she’s stressed or dealing with a personal issue.
• As frustrated as you may feel sometimes (let’s face it, teens know how to push our buttons), try to speak from a place of love, caring and concern — and express these feelings to your teen.
• Remind your teen that the reason you’re always talking with her and asking questions is because you love her and care about her and want her to be healthy and successful.
• Provide your teen with lots of hugs and kisses- even at the risk of unbelievable embarrassment to them as they duck under your arm to get away!

Think these are some tricks you can take on? Seems like one sweet treat to reach, if you do!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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On the outs with your friend? Here's how to mend a tattered friendship.

Kids, spouses, jobs, an economic recession creating job losses (maybe your own), rising health care costs...it's been a pretty tough world out there lately, and you may notice current situations taking a toll on your closest friendship. Maybe things just aren't the way they used to be between you and your BFF. One of you may be feeling snappish, or just downright uptight when you're together. While you used to be attached at the hip, there's suddenly a wedge between you. What can you do? Irene S Levine, PhD, The Friendship Doctor at Psychology Today, offers the first steps to try.

1) Assess what's going on between you

Try to think objectively and make sure that you really want to mend the friendship. Your  latest tiff may just be a sign that the relationship has been doomed for a while. Have you simply outgrown each other? That's no one's fault. People change over time and not always in the same direction. Have the same problems recurred time after time? Maybe the bad chemistry or sense of imbalance between you has become so overwhelming that it is impossible to transcend. Or--- is it something that you think you might really be able to fix? If so, proceed to Tip 2.

2) Pinpoint what happened

If it is something you said or did, or something you didn't say or do---or if the problem was with her, talk about it. No friendship is perfect and each one has tiny kinks that need to be worked out. Communicating avoids little problems from escalating into big ones that can undermine a relationship.

3) Be the first to offer the olive branch

If you know you were in the wrong, take responsibility for your mistake. Tell your friend how important the relationship is to you and show her in some small but concrete way. Invite her to dinner or send her a card that says, "I'm sorry."

If she was in the wrong, practice forgiveness. (We just talked in depth about the healing you can experience through forgiving others in yesterday's post.) Harboring resentment towards someone has a way of bouncing back like a boomerang to hurt you (including raising your blood pressure). Let go of the disappointment. Having a shared history should provide a strong foundation that allows a friendship to weather small hurts.

4) Step back after you've tried

Be sensitive to her response. Okay, you've been thinking about how you were going to handle this fiasco, for hours or maybe even weeks and months. But you just sprung your thinking on her and she may need time to mull it over. If her answer is "No way," accept it for the moment, give it some time, and try again. If she repeatedly blows you off, you may have to accept her decision and move on.

5) Don't necessarily view endings as a failure.

Friendships have beginning and endings. Ones that last forever are more likely to be the topic of novels and television scripts. The women I surveyed for my book, Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend, talked about even very close friendships having "expiration dates" and "shelf lives." And sometimes women breathe a sigh of relief after an ambivalent or toxic friendship is over. 

Friendships are wonderful and life affirming. But keep in mind that just as is the case in most relationships that really mean something to us, the ones that have a chance at surviving the test of time (as well as stresses and arguments!), our friendships will not flourish being left on a shelf with no care coming from us. They require effort.  And if we're lucky, each one provides us with new wisdom so they get better and better! 

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

ADHD & ADD- some facts you may not know, and should.

"He is just squirrely all the time!" "My daughter's really struggling with schoolwork- homework, especially!" "Why is is so hard for my child to remember"...(fill in the blank here- children with ADHD or ADD have difficulty remembering lots of things!) These kinds of situations and scenarios can be pretty frustrating not only for parents, but their kids as well.

Affecting children and adults alike, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) has become familiar enough that we use it as slang for kids with high energy or anyone who taps a pencil on a desk. But what do we really know? MSN Health & Fitness touches on the highlights- if you see symptoms in your child that make you feel like you need more information- please, talk to your pediatrician.

If you’re waiting for your child to outgrow ADHD … don’t.

Approximately 60 percent of children with the condition will carry it into adulthood. Early evaluation and treatment, when appropriate, can pre-empt years of more serious problems. As the ADHD child gets older, his symptoms—and his means of coping with those symptoms—can intensify. A 10-year study currently under way has already found that young adults are at high risk for “markedly elevated rates of antisocial, addictive, mood and anxiety disorders.”

Over treatment and misdiagnosis are still problem areas.

Some bioethicists believe that pharmaceutical companies are pushing their drugs, leading to medical treatment in patients who don’t need it. At the same time, a true case of ADHD is a neurobiological condition—a medical problem, not just a psychological one—and does warrant the use of prescribed medicine.

A major part of the problem is that most primary-care physicians are simply not trained yet in diagnosing ADHD. The disorder was not formally recognized as a disability until 1998, and doctors are still catching up to the ongoing research and the efficacy of treatments.

Seek physicians with experience in ADHD diagnosis, and educate yourself.

ADHD is most effectively treated with a combination of medication and therapy.

Prescribed medicines are effective for approximately 50 percent of the patients who need them. But even in the patients who do respond, only about half of their symptoms are relieved. The drugs won’t necessarily treat problems with organizational skills, coping socially and the overwhelming emotions associated with underachievement and failure. Cognitive psychotherapy can reach where medication does not.

It is still undetermined whether ADHD can be beat.

We don’t know yet whether adult patients can be free of the condition after stopping medication and therapy. (Children may have not carried the condition into adulthood.) While on a treatment program, people do learn to relieve impairments and decrease distress. But it is unknown whether patients can maintain long-term control over symptoms on their own when the course of meds is ended.

Half of all people with ADHD have other disorders as well.

Depression and anxiety are the most common conditions that “co-travel” with ADHD. These co-travelers present a major problem because they mask ADHD; physicians will often recognize and treat the mood disorder, which they’re familiar with, but miss the ADHD completely.

As in children, adults with ADHD are also more likely to have asthma. Other co-travelers, so to speak, include smoking, drug or alcohol abuse, and obesity—all of which signal ways in which people try to cope or self-medicate.

It's very real, my friend. Sure- many people in our generation or older can remember a time back when behaviors that mirror ADHD/ADD were punished since they looked like plain, old disobedience or out of control impulsiveness.  You, as parent, know your child best. But also recognize when it's not only okay, but in your child's best interest, to seek the advice of experts- your son or daughter likely isn't intentionally trying to forget homework assignments night after night, and treatment of a perhaps previously overlooked medical condition could make a world of difference to you all.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Help your kids survive their "back to school" nervousness!

It’s back-to-school time, which could mean for your child time-to-get-nervous time about the new school year. They're worrying about things like who’ll be their friend, what class they’ll be in, and if they’ll be teased for their new braces, haircut, or because they grew six inches over the summer. So, here’s how to help your kids survive the back-to-school nerves, courtesy of Family Circle magazine:

• Worry #1: The new kid. If your kid’s worried about going to a new school, don’t say, “You’ll feel better once school starts.” That just invalidates their feelings. Instead, say something like “I understand why you’re nervous. So, let’s take it one step at a time. Why don’t you make it a point to introduce yourself to one new person a day and sign up for one new activity a week?” When kids have a game plan, they’re much less likely to be nervous about the unknown.
• Worry #2: Wrong class, wrong teacher. Kids look forward to getting the teacher they want, and sharing classes with friends. It’s a huge deal if they don’t get what they want. The fix: Don’t rush to make changes. Look at this as an opportunity for your child to expand their social network. However, after several weeks, if they’re still desperately missing their friends, or having teacher issues, schedule a meeting with yourself, your child and the teacher to discuss the problem.
• Worry #3: Tech trouble. A lot of kids will show up with high-tech cell phones and laptops with Internet access, which can be big distractions, as well as tools for cheating and cyber-bullying. So, before school starts, tell your kid: “We both know it’s easy to use cell phones and laptops to create drama, spread gossip and humiliate people. So, I reserve the right to check your text messages, email account and Facebook page. If I see you giving out personal information, pretending to be something you’re not, or sharing embarrassing information, I’ll take your tech away until you can earn back my trust. If other kids are using the Internet to embarrass you, come to me and we’ll work out the problem together.”

Chances are great that your child is well equipped to have a terrific school year, but it  may take some adjustment time.  So what else can you do to help soothe your child's anxieties about a new school year?  Listen.  Many times, kids don't want your advice- but they might want you to listen to them expressing their thoughts- without judgement.  Also, be an active listener.  When your child does open up, repeat back to them only what they've just said so your kid knows that you are listening to them, and exercise a lot of restraint to keep yourself from offering up that unsolicited advice! 
John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Summer vacation- over already? Help your kids survive "back to school"!

Yep, it's summer, and as twisted as it sounds, that SHOULD mean back-to-school prep for parents to avoid the inevitable nervous breakdown that comes with waiting until the last minute on absolutely everything. Let's learn more from MSNBC's Kids and Parenting:

Make a well-visit appointment with your child's pediatrician if summer camp paperwork didn't require an up-to-date health and immunization record and one is needed for school. Schedule eye exams and dental appointments. Everybody's trying for the same appointment times, so planning ahead pays off. Bring along necessary forms for the doctor's signature.

Athletics programs may require a physical on a short cycle, say only six months old, and many doctors will do a special "sports physical" covering less ground if it's not time for an annual, Vozza said.

If your child is entering a new school, you may still be recovering from the admissions and registration process, but you need to watch your pile of summer mail for any back-to-school correspondence from the PTA or teachers. Also, make sure you've notified the people you've listed as emergency contacts.

Sure, for-ever it's been suits and beach covers, but now you've got to make your kids focus on school clothes.  If they need to sign off on fall wear, shopping early makes sense for the best selection and helps to avoid sizes selling out.

Clean out your child's closets before you shop for back to school, or the old and beat up will be buried under the new and pristine. Begin sorting through closets before school begins, or soon after, and remember that the weather is usually still warm for a few weeks after classes start, Vozza said.

Have you registered your child for fall sports and made enough copies of required documents to cover sports, school and after-school obligations? Have you signed up for the onsite afterschool program?

Buy new cleats, sports uniforms, helmets, karate, ballet or gymnastics clothes, ice skates, inline skates or other equipment they've outgrown or might need, like tennis rackets. Does anything need to be monogrammed?

Confirm the sitter if that's your after-school childcare plan. Confirm daycare and ask for a list of required items. Confirm bus routes. Angela Gifford at Mom4Life.com also suggests making carpool connections, something that shouldn't wait until the last minute if you're depending on sharing pickup and drop-off responsibilities with other families.

Any idea how to outfit a dorm room these days? CollegeView.com urges a check of the school's Web site for what's not allowed before shopping ensues (toasters, air conditioners and space heaters are often prohibited). Download the school's checklist and make contact with roommates to divide up common appliances and decor, like rugs and coffee makers.

Some useful items that might fly under your radar because you're preoccupied with pricey computers and other high-tech gear: No stain, good-stick tak to hang posters, closet extenders like hanging shoe and sweater storage, reusable shopping bags, a hand vacuum, sewing kit, collapsible hamper, first aid kit, small tool kit, strong magnetic clips, clothesline or drying rack.

Has your new college kid ever cleaned the bathroom? This might be a good time to introduce him to the cleaning supplies aisle. Does he know how to do laundry? Hit the bank for a few rolls of quarters if that's what school machines take.

On the computer front, consider signing him up for an offline data storage service for easy and safe backup as he takes on more work in college.

The first things to go out the window as soon as Summer vaca hits are any hint of a sleep schedule and getting going early in the morning. While there's no need to maintain those regimens over summer, rebuilding them in the fall takes time.

Two or three weeks before school begins, start nibbling away at bedtimes and your back-to-school, out-the-door drills.

"Make a list for kids to follow and tape it to their bedroom doors, so they know exactly what they have to do without you asking," Vozza said. "Things like brush your teeth, make your bed."

The list can include lots of other things that don't apply to the laid-back summer: Putting shoes and backpacks by the door, picking clothes out the night before.

And...ready or not- you're off- everyone in the family!  Next week- we'll tackle the sometimes predictable headaches and tummy aches early in a school year masking the real culprits:  fear and nervousness. 

Have a great weekend-

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

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Prescription Drug Abuse Has Become A Huge Problem Among Teens

Parents- here's a wake-up call for being on the alert, when it comes to your teen.  There’s a potentially deadly drug in your medicine cabinet, though you may have obtained it legally. The problem is prescription drugs, and according to NBC News, they’ve fast become a huge problem. The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration says nearly 7 million Americans currently abuse prescription drugs. That’s more than the number who are abusing cocaine, heroin, hallucinogens, ecstasy, and inhalants combined. This isn’t just a problem among adults: Almost one in five teenagers abuses prescription drugs. Although parents might warn their kids about pot or alcohol – they’re least likely to warn their kids about abusing prescription drugs.

Although prescription drug abuse is a problem in every state and province, it’s a really big problem in Kentucky. Kentucky led the nation in the use of prescription drugs for non-medical purposes last year, and almost 500 people died in Kentucky from prescription drug overdoses. Law enforcement officials in Kentucky say prescription drug abuse is an epidemic among teens because they’re highly addictive. It starts out as a party drug, then kids start doing it every day, and it takes compete control of their life. At the height of addiction, people will pop 50 pills a day.  Your state, likely, has its share of the problem as well.

So how are people getting the prescription drugs? People are buying pills over the internet, kids are stealing them from their parents and grandparents, they’re getting them from street dealers, trading them in school, and three million doses are stolen from pharmacies annually! It turns out, Florida has become notorious as a destination for addicts and drug dealers from around the country. They’re drawn to the many pain clinics in Florida – some of which dispense hundreds of painkillers at a time after only a hasty medical exam. If YOU think someone you know is abusing prescription drugs, they need to get help. Addictive behaviors are things like lying, hiding pills, obsessively counting them, making unnecessary emergency room visits and constantly “doctor shopping.” Parents, make sure your kids DO NOT have access to your prescriptions. If you – or someone you know – needs help, go to the website for substance abuse samhsa.gov. 

This is such a sobering set of thoughts to put here on this page- prescription drug use, sadly, has taken a place alongside so many other issues that parents and mentors alike must look at, and behave, proactively- or immediately be reactive if the situation calls for it.  I wish it wasn't the case, but I hope that if there is a family dealing with prescription drug abuse, hearts are courageous, and minds are open to the difficult steps that must be taken to stop this problem in its tracks.  Thanks for reading-

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.