The John Tesh Blog

Give a little? Get a lot.

Can you remember how hard it was to hear your parents say, as you were growing up, "Well, it's better to give, than to receive..." WHAT? How can that be better? Well, science- how about that- has proven what's really in it for you! Stephen Post, PhD, and Jill Neimark are the authors of Why Good Things Happen to Good People, and give us the guide to what you get for your giving, you holiday elf:

It's The Thought That Counts

Just thinking about generosity boosts your immunity. When Harvard students watched a film about Mother Teresa tending to orphans, the number of protective antibodies in their saliva surged; when the students were asked to focus on times when they'd been loved by or loving to others, their antibody levels stayed elevated for an hour. In another study, the brain's pleasure centers lit up when people made check marks next to a list of organizations to which they wanted to donate.

Lend an Ear, Help Your Heart

Being generous with your attention can reduce your risk of heart attack. Cardiac arrest is highly correlated with the amount of self-reference ("I," "me," "my") in a person's speech. The best advice? Listen to and connect with others- OH. How about what we talked about yesterday- LISTENING to those around you to avoid bickering. Social ties lower your risk of dying from heart disease.

Lend a Hand, Lower Your Pain

People suffering from chronic pain report decreased intensity, and less disability and depression, when they reach out to others in similar pain. In one study, pain was reduced by 13 percent. Scientists believe the release of endorphins explains the phenomenon.

Goodness Nose

In a study conducted at Carnegie Mellon University, people who were socially connected reported catching fewer colds. Volunteering is, of course, one of the simplest ways to connect.

Love Heals Some Wounds

In a 2005 Ohio State University study, married couples were given tiny blisters on two occasions. During the first visit, they talked to each other supportively; during the second, they hashed out relationship conflicts. The blisters took a day longer to heal after the second visit, and two days longer in couples with high levels of anger.

The Magic Touch

There's an off switch for the adrenal gland's production of the stress hormone cortisol: massage. A study that recruited retirees to give massages showed that their cortisol—as well as their anxiety and depression—levels dropped significantly.

Do you see an opportunity here, in these last days of the 2009 holiday season to spread some warmth, pay it forward, show your love? Then take it, in good health, my friend!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

What's the difference between getting further into debt, and living a life of wealth? Not as much as you might think.

Jean Chatzky is one woman who believes, even in the toughest economic times (as all of us are experiencing; some more than others) that anyone can prosper…if they possess key traits and abilities that will set them apart. She calls these traits, and her new book, The Difference, and describes how you can go from the person who lives paycheck to paycheck to the person who lives in comfort.

Do you have The Difference? And, if not—how can you get it? Jean shares the eight things that matter most to help you become financially free.

Happiness and Optimism

Some people believe money leads to happiness. Not true. Once you're living comfortably, more money doesn't buy more happiness. The reverse, however, is true: Happiness leads to money. And success. Likewise, so does optimism. Both empower you to solve problems, create new ideas, take long-range consequences into consideration and come back to try again if you miss the first time.

Resilience

People who have moved from a bad financial situation into comfort or wealth have resilience. They can overcome—on the job, in their personal lives, with their finances. They don't deny the bad things that happen, but they're able to turn their focus to things over which they have control with the belief that they have the ability to effect change. The good news is you don't have to be born with resilience—you can learn it by controlling the things you can control and letting go of the others.

Connectedness 

Ever heard of social capital? It's the asset created when relationships between people change in ways that lead to action, generally for good. It's an important component of The Difference, and the wealthy and financially comfortable not only have more of it than people living paycheck to paycheck, they know how to use it. They cast a wider net, socializing with neighbors, co-workers, people who can help them advance financially or in their careers. To get your share of social capital, you have to make time for people and put yourself forward as a leader.

Passion

This is a key element that moves people from a life of financial struggle to one of financial success. The wealthy, simply put, want it more than the rest of that. Some want it in the form of money, but most are quite passionate about the careers they choose to pursue. And, at a time where doing what you love may not seem possible, it's important to know you can learn to love what you're doing- right here, and right now.

Intuition

Over the years, your brain has scored up scads of patterns, information that tells you that if one thing happens, something else is likely to follow. We feel these signals in our gut—and we call them hunches. They are really our intuition, a sixth sense that is more developed in the wealthy than in anyone else. You can learn to bring yours forward by adopting strategies like giving your intuition a little room to breathe: Jean herself says she has the best moments of "enlightenment" when she's not searching for them.

Make savings your new, "got to" habit

The wealthy people in Chatzky's study certainly have the funds to be crazy spenders, but most aren't. Both wealthy and financially comfortable individuals say that saving more money has been an "absolutely essential" financial goal as an adult.

Invest in stocks

Jean did the research for The Difference when housing prices were cratering and the markets were falling out of the sky. Yet, one lesson emerged again and again: The wealthy understand the need to take risks in the market—in good times and in bad—in order to make their money work as hard as they do.

Gratitude

The Karma Kickback. The people who get rich—and stay rich—are not just grateful. They practice gratitude by giving back to their communities, to organizations they believe in and the people they care about. (Your place of worship may call it 'tithing.') Even if you are thinking of something you view as mundane—like your job—when you think about it as a gift, you focus on what life might be if you didn't have it.

Can you see The Difference in your life today? Tomorrow? As long as you see it, you'll live it.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

7 steps to take this month in your job search

Maybe it's a little extra income for the holidays you're looking for, or maybe you fell prey to an economic driven layoff from your old job. It might be a case of kids well on their own way, and you feel ready, at last, to re-enter the workforce. No matter where your job  search falls right now, though- here is a new month, full of possibilities, and 7 specific things you can do this month to get yourself back on your feet, from Jean Chatsky, career and money expert for Oprah.com.

Ask anyone with a great job how they got where they are, and you'll probably hear that they got very lucky. But successful job hunters make their own luck with hard work and lots of preparation. You can use the strategies below to make sure you've got the essential ingredients for a fruitful job search—a killer résumé and sharp interviewing skills. Looking to help your kids find a good summer job? We've got some advice for that, too, and now's the time to prepare for the end of the school year.

Create a Killer Résumé
Your résumé is your chance to make a great first impression. That single piece of paper (or, these days, that one e-mail attachment) will determine whether or not you get an interview. Dust off an old copy and add any new experience or skills that you've acquired since you last looked for a job. If you've been out of the workforce, consider adding any volunteer work you've done or classes you've taken that have helped you hone in on an existing skill or learn a new one.

Share a copy of your updated résumé with your friends and family, and get their input on how you can make it sharper and more compelling. Pay special attention to the questions they members ask. If you find you need to explain or amplify a certain item, it may mean it isn't as clearly written as it could be.

Practice Interviewing
You may think that the best interviewees think quickly on their feet and come up with smart, insightful answers (and they do), but for most of us, interviewing is like playing a musical instrument—it takes plenty of practice. Setting up informational interviews with former colleagues, acquaintances and friends of friends in industries you're interested in is a great way to polish your interviewing skills. So is role playing with friends.

Before you head into an interview, tell your family who you'll be interviewing with and what you know about them and the company they works for. Have members take turns asking you questions they think your potential new boss will have on their list. After you answer, ask for feedback on what you could have done better. By the time you get through that exercise, the actual interview will be a piece of cake!

Susan Strayer, a career coach and author of The Right Job, Right Now, suggests job hunters create an inventory of stories that they can rely on during an interview. Think of several successful projects you've completed, times you've taken an important role in your employer's success and praises you've received from bosses or clients, and be ready to briefly retell those experiences at the appropriate moment.

Help Your Child Get a Summer Job
If you have a high school or college-age child who's looking for summer work, he or she will need a sharp résumé and good interviewing skills. To help them find leads for great summer jobs, don't forget your local network of family members, friends and teachers, says Randall Hansen, founder of Quintcareers.com, a website for young job seekers. In addition, have  your child check out websites such as CoolWorks.com, SummerJobs.com and  ResortJobs.com, all of which list lots of temporary positions at resorts and summer camps throughout the country.

Create a Network
Think of your friends as an instant job-hunting network that can provide ideas, advice and contacts you need. Then, branch out to family and former colleagues, says Robin Ryan. Tell everyone you know you're on the hunt and ask them for names of acquaintances that might be able to help you. Go on as many informational interviews as you can possibly manage. True, there may be no openings, but you'll have made an in for when a position is available. The person you're interviewing with may very well know others in their industry that you should also talk to. Plus, you'll brush up your interviewing skills.

Target Your Search
Although it's tempting to answer dozens of want ads and send your résumé to everyone you know, the quality of your applications, not the quantity, is what will get you results, says Robin Ryan. "You can spend 20 or 25 hours a week looking for a job—after that you're wasting your time," she adds.

Determine the industries and businesses you're most interested in (and best qualified for) ahead of time and concentrate on those contacts and openings first. Remember, targeting also means adding a personal touch. Always send a well-tailored cover letter with your résumé—no form letters or mass mailings.

Use the Internet Wisely
Sites like Monster.com and CareerBuilder.com can give you a great sense of what types of openings are available and what kind of salary range you can expect. And, it certainly can't hurt to answer ads that appeal to you. But answering blind ads shouldn't be the bulk of your search, says Susan Strayer. So often you hear nothing back. Posting your résumé on these sites can also be a waste of time. Better to look for openings on the websites of companies and industry associations that you're interested in.

Be Patient

It generally takes three to six months for people to find a job, says Robin Ryan. The wait can be frustrating, but the process gives you a chance to really evaluate what kind of job is right for you. Devote yourself to this process as though it is your full time job; find a way to network (which might mean finding a way to volunteer your way into networking, temporarily); rest, and treat yourself to some daily exercise (since you do have, for the time being- the time to give to it.

And- have a wonderful Monday; welcome to November!

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.

Wondering who you are, and what really matters to you in your life? Time to find out. Here's a hint: purpose and balance!

First things first in our quest to answer this, my friend:  if you're wondering who the "you" you are really is- you're far from alone.  From Oprah.com and WebMD, here is a little help to take those first steps of personal discovery.  Personal coach Laura Berman Fortgang,  author of "NOW WHAT? 90 Days to a New Life Direction", says getting your priorities clear is the first and most essential step toward achieving a well-balanced life. The important point here is to figure out what you want your priorities to be, not what you think they should be.

"I use an exercise for figuring out what matters most," Fortgang tells WebMD. She has her clients take a couple days off from work to contemplate the following series of questions:

1. If my life could focus on one thing and one thing only, what would that be?
2. If I could add a second thing, what would that be?
3. A third?
4. A fourth?
5. A fifth?
   

If you answer thoughtfully and honestly, the result will be a list of your top five priorities. Fortgang says a typical top-five list might include aspects such as children, spouse, satisfying career, community service, religion or spirituality, health, sports, art, hobbies such as gardening and adventure/travel.

Ismael Al-Ramahi, a graduate student at Baylor College of Medicine, says his current priorities are his wife, his 4-month-old son, and his research. He tells WebMD the key is not only knowing your priorities, but devoting your full attention to just one priority at a time. "Split your time and your mind so that you're thinking about work when you're at work and you're paying attention to the baby when you're with him."

Your purpose exists- never doubt that.  Trust yourself to know what your heart and mind are telling you.  Honesty with yourself and, perhaps, letting go of fears that might be holding you back could be the keys to bringing your purpose (or purposes!) to life!

You may think you don't have a lot to give, but you do, and it could be much more than you know to someone else.

Psychology experts say that our direct path to inner happiness is most often found when we move outside ourselves, and our own problems.  But do you sometimes find yourself doubting the gifts you have to offer to someone else?  Don't!  Each of us has so much we can share with others- talents we perhaps haven't thought about for a long time.  A little soul searching right now could be the source of incredible charitable inspiration- shine your light out to the world!  Let's get started with a few ideas from P&G Everyday Solutions - use these, or use them to craft your own ideas.

• Visit the Elderly
  Find a retirement community in your local phone book and give them a call. Ask the activities coordinator to identify a resident who would most appreciate a visit. You may meet the senior in his or her room, or perhaps in a dining area or lobby. Extend your hand, introduce yourself and then — follow your intuition. You may not get a word in edgewise, as your new friend might talk about anything from Joe DiMaggio's 56-game hitting streak in 1941 to the last episode of their favorite TV show. Or maybe you will do most of the talking. The important thing is to feel comfortable and make a connection.
• Read a Book to the Blind
  Whatever your literary tastes, if you enjoy reading aloud, you can share the pleasure of a good story by volunteering to record an audio book for the blind, since many of these groups offer audio books to their patients, clients or members. For the inner storyteller in you, this could be a match made in heaven.
• Teach
  All of us have talents and interests, and there is perhaps no better way to give of ourselves than to share what matters most to us with others. Perhaps yours is an artistic talent, such as painting, knitting or playing a musical instrument. Or maybe your hobby is more practical; you may, for example, know a thing or two about fixing a car. Whatever your interest, there is most likely someone close by — in your neighborhood, at a nearby elementary school or junior high school, in a nursing home, or at a homeless shelter (the list goes on and on) — who would appreciate your mentoring. 

Need more direction?  SO glad you asked!  My wife, Connie, and I happily invite you to join the Intelligent Kindness Network.  On this site, we're connecting people from all over the world to share their passion, their enthusiasm, and their inspiring ideas.  You'll find links to many organizations world wide as well as in your own community, and easy to use tools to locate a specific volunteer opportunity nearest you. I believe in this, because-

The power of one is never to be doubted.  And the power of many coming together is truly an awesome thing.  If you're already working in a volunteer network, or out on your own quest to bring kindness to the world around you- you know how true this is.  Please share your stories, and your ideas with us, and become part of the Intelligent Kindness Network.

John

Email John:  johnsblog@teshmedia.com

Check out the new John Tesh Social Network. You can connect with new friends, post your own blog, visit various forums, upload your favorite John Tesh music and share your photos.  To learn more about how to join, click here.